Tomorrow or Eternity?
by PlotBunnyWranglers
Summary: Summary: Eternity is never a certainty even for immortals. With death knocking on our door, we'll love like no other for as long as we're given. Tomorrow or eternity we'll be together.
1. The Pretenders

****A/N: So here it is, the beginning of the sequel of Stupid Volvo Owner. We hope you all enjoy, and thank you for coming along on this ride with us as well. :)****

* * *

 **Edward**

 _It was never supposed to be this way. If I had just stayed away from her as I should have, Bella would have had a safe and happy life; a_ _normal_ _life. Regardless of how long or short it would have been, she could have married, maybe even had a child before the cancer appeared, and her time on this earth would have been full and worthwhile. Yet, because I was selfish in my need and desire for her presence, death was knocking at her door at the age of eighteen, without ever having enjoyed some of the simplest pleasures that life had to offer._ _I __did this to her—all because I was weak._

My thoughts ran through my mind at breakneck speed; everything I refused myself to voice. I also knew, even without the ability to read her mind, that Bella still harbored similar thoughts of her own, despite my attempts to convince her otherwise.

However, in our hearts, we both knew the undeniable truth that no amount of self-condemnation on either of our parts could change—it truly would not have mattered if we _had_ tried harder to stay away from one another. I loved Bella with everything in me, and I knew she felt the same in return, but it was more than that. It had _always_ been more than that. She was destined to be my mate. Every part of her was bonded to me, as I was to her. The deep love we shared was just a beautiful bonus.

Still, as I watched her clean up after the dinner we had just shared with her father, I could not help the thoughts and feelings rearing up again. I had to give Bella credit—for someone who was notoriously bad at lying, she had put on quite the performance that evening. No one who was unaware of the situation we were facing would have guessed that she was anything less than a blissfully happy, newly engaged young woman. Charlie certainly hadn't suspected anything was amiss, which honestly surprised me. All that was in his mind was the joy at seeing his daughter so happy, even if part of him still felt that we might have been a little too young.

 _The mind's eye can be so blissfully ignorant when it sees what it wants, and Bella's happiness is paramount to Charlie._

The true picture now presented itself, though, from the moment Charlie had left the kitchen to watch some football game on that evening. Bella's shoulders were tense, yet defeated, and I could hear the powerful thrumming of her heart increase. The knowledge that she was going to be the cause of her father's heartbreak so soon after having her back in his life was tearing Bella apart. She knew it would happen someday, when her change took place and he would have to believe her dead, but he hadn't even gotten a full year with her.

I watched her hand rise to her face to swipe away a tear and immediately stood to make my way over to her, and her head leaned back against my chest as I rested my hands on either side of her waist. She took hold of them with hers and drew them around her middle, gripping my forearms firmly as if to lock them in place. We stood unmoving for several moments, silent until she could seemingly take it no longer. "How long do we have?"

I brought my lips to press a kiss to her shoulder at her whispered words. "We're meeting them at midnight. I still wish you would consider changing your mind and stay here where it's safe."

Bella straightened and shook her head adamantly. "Whatever we have to face, we need to face together. I'm no safer here, with you out there somewhere."

I reluctantly agreed, knowing she was right, and whatever transpired that night would pale in comparison to anything else that was to come.

After spending the remainder of the day following Alice's vision, deciding exactly how we were going to handle things, Carlisle finally made the call to Aro. On the phone, he'd seemed cordial as Carlisle explained to him about Bella joining our family and gave him the assurance that she would be the last, as I was the final one to have found my mate. Since it ultimately did not change the final outcome of Alice's vision, we decided to keep the details as minimal as possible. We all knew that informing Aro that Bella was human would not only fail to prevent our demise, but it might actually hasten it.

I couldn't do that to Bella, or her mother and father. They deserved every moment they could possibly get.

Yet, the hope that perhaps Aro's reaction on the phone might change the vision and buy us some more time was dashed the instant Carlisle ended the call. His decision was no different—Jane, Alec, Demetri and Felix would be arriving in seven days' time. The weather was only partially to blame; the sadistic side of Aro also wanted to give us a false sense of hope that perhaps we were safe.

It was then that Carlisle announced the next state of affairs we had to attend to—the wolves. Once the guard arrived, more Quileutes would phase, and they needed to be warned. Not only because of the upcoming changes to their tribe, but to stay away from our territory. It would prove fatal if they became involved. Though Alice hadn't seen them dying in her visions, she did however, see the aftermath. Charlie beyond devastated as all his friends had been brutally murdered and stumbling upon the scene that would cause his own demise. It wasn't an outcome anyone would want.

After Bella's lapse into despair, she straightened up her shoulders and breathed deeply, her body moving against my own. I pressed a lingering kiss to her shoulder, earning a sweet little sigh. I found it much easier to share those tiny moments of intimacy with her, my hunger far from my mind. Perhaps the part of me that knew there was a chance that I would never get to experience them again made it easier; I wasn't positive. Neither of us wanted to go farther than what we'd already experienced, considering how hard it was to think of such things when your life was on the line, however unnatural it was for me and my family.

She turned to face me, draping her arms over my shoulders and doing her best to smile. "I feel awful pasting a grin on and pretending to be all excited about college when it _may_ never happen." Her gaze flashed momentarily to the piles of brochures and paperwork for our college scholarships we'd "earned" through a dummy corporation Jasper had set up. It was something Charlie was proud of his daughter achieving, but it also gave him a sense of relief, as he had already inquired about getting another mortgage to help pay for her education.

I understood where she was coming from. Deep down, we both wanted to believe that there was a semblance of hope that it might not be the end, but no matter the choices we made, nothing changed Alice's vision. The Volturi Guard would come and the chances of surviving their visit were less than one percent.

"I'm still struggling with how they'd cover up our deaths." She shook her head, moving away and running a hand to through her head. Her feet carried her from one end of the kitchen to the other as she paced, shaking her head and grumbling under her breath. "You all said, you turn to ash if burned, so how are they going to explain how there's only _one_ body among the smoldering remains of your house?"

I winced, having pictured the scene as she described it. It took quite a bit of control not to pull her into my arms and run. Run from all of it, even my family, if meant we'd only buy ourselves a few weeks at most with our sudden disappearance.

"Bella, please." I closed my eyes and tried to envision anything else but the picture she painted in my mind. Soft, warm hands slid up my jaw, the steady pulse on her wrists taunting me just inches from my lips. Teasing me, yet reminding me that she was alive and well…for the moment.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her soft lips peppering small kisses along my chin and lips. "I'm not only scared. I'm angry and I can't help it."

My hands fisted for a moment on her hips, the fabric of her sweater threatening to give way in my grip. The fragility of the threads reminded me to ease off, to remember that she was still human and could not withstand the brunt of my own anger.

It wasn't fair.

.

.

.

At the stroke of midnight, we gathered in a small clearing where our territory met with the Quileute's reservation line. I stood to the right of Carlisle, Jasper to his left, while the others flanked us on either side. Bella stood beside me, choosing to show herself against my better judgement.

Carlisle agreed that the wolves would see us as less of a threat with Bella still human among seven vampires. I didn't agree, and Jasper even doubted it would matter to them; they'd likely see Bella as someone no longer needing their protection.

"The mongrels are coming," Rosalie hissed softly under her breath, wincing as the stench the light wind carried toward us.

"There are more of them," I whispered, glancing at Carlisle and then Jasper. We had believed there to be only three tribal members that had changed, instead there were five.

Along the tree line, the rustle of leaves caused Bella to move closer to me, her hand slipping into mine. "Here we go."

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 **Hopefully we will have an update for you mid next week. Til then!**


	2. Supernatural Meeting

**A/N: Thank you for your patience. We had some unexpected things come up and thereby delaying the posting of this chapter.**

* * *

 **Bella**

I watched as the five behemoth creatures appeared from the shadows of the woods, and my nervousness grew. I could understand, to a point, Edward's insistence in the past that I _not_ be involved in any interaction with the wolves. Even his description of their size had not done them justice, and there was no denying that I felt more than a little intimidated.

It was not the time for such comparatively trivial things to affect me—we had far more pressing matters at hand.

Carlisle took a step forward, causing Edward and Jasper to close ranks behind him, like a barrier between the approaching wolves and me. "Thank you for coming. I assure you, this is of the utmost urgency."

Edward's hand secured around mine a little more firmly for a moment, as he was clearly listening to their thoughts. I wondered what he had heard that bothered him so much. "They are insistent that they can handle whatever is coming."

"I wish I could say that I agree with you, but I can't. The seven of us combined cannot defeat this. Therefore, I must insist, for your safety, that you do not interfere in any way," Carlisle explained, and I peeked around Edward's arm and saw the grey wolf snarl, the fur rising on his neck and shoulders.

Suddenly, the jet-black leader began backing toward the woods, joined by the brown one at his right, while the other three remained rooted in place.

"What's going on?" I asked Edward nervously, releasing his hand to curl mine around the inside of his bicep. "Where are they going?"

"They want to talk, but don't trust us enough to have them all in human form," Edward clarified, but the tension in his muscles only escalated beneath my palm.

After some more rustling in the woods, two human figures emerged, clad only in denim cut-offs. Their features remained obscured by the shadows cast by the trees until the moonlight illuminated their faces, and I took a sharp breath in.

"Jake?" I choked out, unable to believe my eyes. There before me, standing beside who I recognized as Sam Uley, was Billy Black's son, Jacob, and though I had _just_ seen him a little over a month before, he was barely recognizable to me. His long, black hair was now cropped off, and the more defined muscles and bulk to his body that I'd noticed at Thanksgiving appeared even more pronounced in his shirtless state. The most significant difference, however, was the scowl on his face. While I couldn't say that I had an abundance of memories involving Jacob Black, never could I recall him having anything less than a jovial disposition and the widest, brightest smile I'd ever seen. Not once had he ever looked so… incensed.

I tried to ignore the way his dark gaze was boring into me as Sam began to speak. "I don't see how this could be any different from any other…of your kind that we have faced."

Edward had always told me that Sam was the most reasonable of the Quileute wolf pack, and I was seeing that for myself at that moment. Despite the hint of a sneer curling his lip at the pause in his statement, his voice remained level and calm, even though he was face-to-face with seven vampires, their mortal enemy. As Carlisle began to explain the ferocity of the Volturi and all he had personally witnessed in the decade he'd spent with them, my gaze shifted back to Jacob, who was practically vibrating with the restrained fury I saw burning in his eyes. It only intensified as I inched closer to Edward, and it was obvious that Jake's thoughts mirrored his appearance, since his arm circled around me protectively.

"We are already aware of the 'gifts' of your kind," Sam said, breaking my focus on Jacob, and I watched his eyes flicker between Alice and Edward. "And they have posed no additional threat to us."

Carlisle shook his head slowly with a sigh. "Edward's gift, while useful and powerful in its own right, is merely a defensive measure. Similarly, Alice can predict what is coming, but it does not help us defend against it. Not even the strongest among you could withstand their offensive weapons."

The hackles of the grey wolf rose again, joined by a snarl, but just as quickly, they lowered, and he laid down beside Sam, completely docile. Both he and Jake stared wide-eyed at him before returning their attention to Carlisle.

"What are you doing to Paul?" Sam asked, uncharacteristically shaken, and all of their gazes frantically moved among the group of us, until Jasper stepped forward with his focus on the wolf in question.

Having experienced Jasper's mood control ability in the past, I could relate to the confusion of both the unaffected members of the pack, and even more so, Paul himself. I could tell the moment the effect released him, as his snarl returned, and he reared back before taking off into the woods. Moments later, a tall, slender man returned, appearing just as fierce as the wolf who had just departed. "What the hell was that?"

Once again, Paul's stature relaxed, as did Sam and Jacob, and then the two remaining wolves as well, but that time, it was Jasper who addressed the pack. "This is but a mild example of offensive gifts we can have. Right now, you just have no control over your emotions, but it inflicts no impairment on your strength or mental capacity, nor is it harming you in any way. That is not the case with what is coming. Jane can incapacitate you with pain by simply looking at you, and while she can only afflict one target at a time, Alec can more than compensate for that. There is no escaping his hold once his mist ensnares you, and he will strip you of all your senses, and not just one or two of you at a time, but all of you at once, just as I am right now."

It was evident once Jasper relinquished his effect on them, as even Sam seemed to become more agitated than before, and then Carlisle continued. "And that is only if they intend to destroy you once Aro learns of your existence. His brother, Caius, hunted the Children of the Moon to near extinction two millennia ago, and while he will not differentiate between your kind and the creatures he hunted, there is a high probability that Aro will see your ability to shift without the effects of the moon phase as an asset, a weapon he could use."

Jacob scoffed and rolled his eyes in disgust. "As if we wouldn't die before serving leeches in any way."

"Jacob!" Sam commanded sternly, to which Jake reluctantly acquiesced.

"You wouldn't need to succumb willingly. The Volturi have one amongst them, Chelsea, who can form unbreakable bonds. She could bind you to Aro, and you would become subservient to his will for as long as he found use for you," Carlisle explained calmly, while his voice lost none of its authority. "I could go on through the remainder of the guard and just the gifts that I am aware of, but it will still only result in one outcome. This is not a fight that you can or will win."

"So why even stay here yourselves? Leave Bella alone and with her father where she belongs, and just get out of here. Then there would be no reason for these psychotic bloodsuckers to come after her, and you'd all be long gone before they could even get here. Problem solved, killing two birds with one stone," Jacob sneered venomously with his narrowed eyes focused on Edward.

I took that moment to step forward, feeling Edward tense beside me, but I gave his hand a gentle squeeze to silently assure him that I wasn't moving any closer. "It's too late for any of that. I already know too much, and they've allowed a human to know the truth about them. All of our fates are sealed. And then, of course, there would be the fact that we would infuriate the Volturi by running, and the consequences would fall on the people of Forks, especially my dad, which is something I would _never_ risk."

"And by association with Charlie, the tribe is at risk then as well, even if you hadn't already revealed your existence in an effort to protect him, Forks or La Push. They will stop at nothing to draw us out. No matter what we do or where we go, they will eventually find us, and we are only prolonging our already borrowed time. In addition, they also have a tracker that, once he catches the essence of someone's mind, it's more potent than a scent, and he can follow it with meticulous precision. Masking a scent is possible, but minds are far more difficult, as my family has learned over the years just with my gift. However, trackers have a single-minded purpose once they target their prey." Edward paused and shared a meaningful look with Sam, whose gaze almost imperceptibly flickered to Jake. "As you are aware."

Both men shared a brief nod of understanding. I, on the other hand, stood there completely bewildered, but for once, I found that I was not the only one. The entire family, including Alice, looked questioningly at Edward. I tugged gently on his sleeve to bring his attention back to me and gazed at him expectantly. "Would you like to share with the whole class what the hell you guys are bobbing your heads about?"

Usually, Edward found my outbursts amusing and they would at least coax a small smirk out of him, but I knew the situation was too urgent and dire for even a moment of luxury like that. His gaze merely shifted again toward Sam, and mine immediately followed.

"I know you've been told to some extent that a vampire's presence triggers the gene inside one of us that has it, and we phase. The more vampires that appear, the more of us will phase." Sam paused for a moment to await my response, and once I nodded, he continued. "When Jake phased, we were instantly put on alert. The last one we had was Embry, and that was only a few weeks before, due to new vampires in the area that weren't the Cullens or their friends."

My breath suddenly froze in my throat, and my eyes widened, moving quickly over to Edward. "The nomads. I thought they were gone."

"We thought so, too. We chased them across the border and eliminated one of them," Sam interjected, and I felt Edward's arm circle around me protectively again.

I could recall the conversation we'd had in his room what seemed like more than just several months before, about the nomads that he'd encountered along with Rosalie and Emmett, and a shiver ran through me. "But that wasn't the case, was it?"

"Unfortunately, no." The shake of his head caused me to shift closer to Edward, my eyes darting around the woods surrounding us, as if they could be anywhere within them. Sam must have noticed my fear, as he didn't speak again until I brought my gaze back to him and gestured for him to continue. "The remaining male was a tracker, and how easy it was for us to take one of them out both infuriated and intrigued him. He was bent on not only destroying us all, but also to learn more about us. After his encounter with the Cullens, he knew Forks was too risky. Not only would his hunting activities rouse suspicion and he'd be outnumbered, but he knew of Edward's gift. So, he and his companion remained out of range along the northern outskirts of La Push to taunt us and give chase. We caught him within a week because his ego got the best of him, and the woman was fast, but all it took was the destruction of the one she called her mate for her to make that one fatal misstep."

Carlisle sighed with a nod of his head. "So, as you can see, we are not exaggerating here. James was barely three hundred years old. That is three centuries of honing that skill, compared to Demetri, who is not only far more powerful, but has been doing so for an entire millennium."

"So, please, I'm begging you," I started, darting my gaze among them all, before focusing solely on Jake. "Just stay out of this and keep my dad safe. I need to know that he'll be okay."

"Of course, we will." Sam's response instantly reignited the fire in Jake's eyes. Right there before me, I watched what was once a boy I could remember from my childhood, seemingly erupt into the form of a giant, brown wolf, and with one last snarl, he bolted back into the woods. Sam's voice speaking my name brought my frightened gaze back to him. "You have my word."

With an understanding reached, we all prepared to leave, and Edward began guiding me to where he had parked the Volvo, when I heard another shout of my name. I turned in the direction of the sound and spotted Jacob jogging toward us, once again in human form and wearing another pair of shorts. My eyes flickered at the shredded denim still littering the ground where he'd phased, and my mind only momentarily pondered whether they had a stockpile of garments hidden in the woods. Yet, as he drew closer, those thoughts disappeared, and I clung tightly to Edward's arm and heard a snarl from deep within his chest.

"What do you want, Jacob?" I asked cautiously, and he came to a stop about ten feet away from me.

"Bella, you can't do this. It will kill Charlie. You've got to find another way." Jake's voice had lost a little of its volatility, while his ice-cold glare at Edward was no less intense.

"There _is_ no other way. We've tried to think of everything, and nothing changes the outcome. The only thing we _can_ do is minimize the casualties," I explained again, trying to break through Jake's stubbornness.

"You don't _have_ to stay with them. _He_ is not worth _dying_ over," Jake hissed, glowering venomously at Edward.

I sighed in exasperation, rubbing at my temples and taking a step toward Jake, when I felt Edward's hand cup my elbow to stop me. "He won't hurt me any more than you would. He'd never do that to Charlie. Please, give me a minute."

I gazed at Edward's pained expression for a moment and then brushed my lips on his cheek with a whisper of "trust me". He nodded with a kiss to my forehead and replied, "Just keep a safe distance."

I agreed and gestured to Jake to follow me off to the side, and to his credit, Edward remained rooted to his spot, making no move to follow. "Look, Jake. I love my dad more than I could ever tell you, and if it were possible to spare him the pain of losing me, I would do it in a heartbeat. He doesn't deserve this, and I wish more than anything that I could have more time with him."

"Then don't do it, Bella. Don't listen to them. _We_ can protect you and Charlie, no matter what we have to do to accomplish it. Or hell, even just take him with you all and run. There's no way these…vultures…" He rolled his eyes when I corrected him with the term "Volturi" and scoffed. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. They can't cover the entire world, Bella. You could go somewhere remote where no one could find you, with Charlie, and keep your damn bloodsucker."

"We've already thought of that, Jake!" I exclaimed, and Edward began stepping toward me, but I held my hand up to stop him and then took a deep breath to calm myself, fighting against the tears welling in my eyes. "We have run through every possible scenario, including Edward and I separating so I could stay with my father, and taking him with us and running. But he would have to be told about the Cullens eventually, and then his fate would be sealed, too. _Nothing_ changes the outcome. Alice would have seen it, and I would have jumped at _any_ chance of having even a little more time with my dad. There is _no_ other way, and Charlie is not going to die because I'm too selfish to let him go."

The dam broke in the midst of speaking and there were now tears streaming down my face, and I even saw the inner torment raging in Jacob's eyes as I spoke of my father. It filtered into his voice as well when he began to speak again in a more subdued tone. "This _will_ kill him, Bella. Knowing you're gone and never coming back. You weren't here to witness how much it hurt him when you decided to stop visiting him over the summer. That was the only time I can remember Charlie _really_ happy in all the time I'd known him throughout my life, and it got taken away from him. But at least he knew that he still had you out there somewhere, and he could see you _somehow_."

Guilt began bubbling up inside me. It was not the first time I'd thought of how my selfish decision had hurt my father, even though he'd been accepting of it. The time I'd spent with him since coming to Forks had driven home just what I had missed out on with him. How much unease he'd put himself through by leaving the comfort of familiar surroundings, just for the opportunity to still have time with his daughter. Back then, it hadn't seemed so selfish, but on reflection, I could see that I was only thinking of myself, when everything he'd ever done had been with my well-being in mind. Right down to breaking his own heart so he wouldn't tear me away from my mother when she left him, believing I would be better off.

However, Jacob's words cut me deep, and I felt like I couldn't breathe through the sob building in my chest.

"If I could, I would go back and change so much that I've done and said to my father over the years, but I can't. And I can't change this, either." I paused, taking a deep breath to collect myself before bringing my gaze back to meet Jake's. "And as contradictory as this sounds, I also don't regret anything that's brought me here. If I'd never come back to Forks, I would never have known the unconditional love of two wonderful men, and I couldn't ask for anything better than that. Not even if I lived another _fifty_ years."

"You're doing this for _nothing_ , Bella. You're giving up your life for _nothing_. You're killing Charlie for _nothing_." With each statement, the emphasis and volume of his words grew, and as he moved toward me, I stepped back. "You're willing to _die_ for him, but you cower away from _me_?"

"I'm not dying for _him_. It's a consequence of a choice I made, and this happens to be the price," I replied with as level of a tone as I could manage. "I know how much you love Charlie, so if you won't do this for me, do it for him. Keep him safe. Protect him. Never let him blame himself. _Please,_ just take care of my father."

Something in my pleas that time must have broken through to him, because he sighed in defeat and nodded. Nothing more was said as I backed away to rejoin Edward, and we made our way to the Volvo, where I immediately broke down.


	3. Who Wants To Live Forever

**A/N: Welcome back! We hope you are all enjoying the sequel so far, and we are working hard to try and get these chapters out to you as quickly as we can. Hopefully, we can keep it on a somewhat consistent track *crosses fingers and knocks on every available wooden surface***

 **The chapter title is completely the fault of Dawnie, since she was listening to the song as she wrote the chapter, because it seemed to fit.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3 ~ Who Wants To Live Forever?**

For the past week, I had waited in the woods while Bella spent the evenings with her father, called or emailed her mother, or went for an outing with her friends. Then over the last few hours, I had stood beside the house and listened as she sat in her room with Angela, putting on a brave face as they started making plans for a wedding that would likely never take place. Watching her face and body language through Angela's mind, no one would ever guess that my beautiful girl was anything less than sincere in her enthusiasm. A part of me wondered if she held back her emotions for my benefit since she was aware of my presence nearby.

However, once Angela had left and Bella said goodnight to her father to head up to her room, I could hear her sniffles start before she was even halfway up the stairs. I would usually wait until Charlie was in bed before climbing into her window, but the soft cries emitting from her as she lay on her bed beckoned me sooner. She lifted her head as I appeared at the ledge, a singular wet trail showing on each cheek as she held her hand out to me. I silently moved over to her and she gently pulled me down to lie beside her.

"I wanted to spend a few more hours with my dad tonight, and I just couldn't hold it together. My last night with him, and I was too weak. How would I be able to explain why I can't stop crying, or why I suddenly want to hug him so tight and never let go? It was hard enough not to break down in front of Angela tonight," she spoke softly while her tears soaked through the front of my shirt, her arms tightening around me instead. "I know I spent as much time with my dad as I could this week. And he and my mom know exactly how much I love them, so I don't really have any regrets, but…"

I gently stroked my hand along her hair as she paused and pressed my lips to the top of her head. "I know, love. I wish we had more time."

"But the snow is sticking," Bella finished with the words that were lodged in my throat and tilted her face up toward me. Her fingers rose to trace along my jaw and her eyes held mine as her tears continued to fall. "I know that no matter how much time I spent with my dad, or how many hours I spent on the phone with my mom, they will always wish they'd had a little more."

At that exact moment, we heard the heavy trudging of boots ascending the stairs, and I disappeared into the shadows of her room. We both remained still and silent until we heard the closing of Charlie's door, followed shortly thereafter by the soft snores that signaled his state of slumber.

Bella then rose from her bed and slid her coat on, silently climbing out the window with me and onto my back as I whisked her away to where I had parked the Volvo several blocks over, as we had also done every night that week. I held her hand throughout the entire, albeit short drive to my house, and all the way to my room until the door closed behind us. She immediately stepped into my embrace, curling her arms tightly around my waist, but she wasn't crying at that moment, which honestly surprised me. After spending until dawn holding and comforting Bella once we'd returned to Forks from the meeting with the wolves, as endless sobs wracked her body, I had prepared myself for a similar breakdown when the final night before the Volturi arrived presented itself. On the contrary, she was eerily calm.

I pulled back a little to look at her, and when her eyes met mine, it was as if she could see every thought I had playing in _my_ head.

Bella's hand cupped my face and she gently brushed her lips on mine. "I've said my goodbyes and made my peace, even if it still hurts. There's only one lingering regret that I have."

"What's that?" I asked softly, wishing more than anything that I could fulfill any desire in her heart.

"I never, in all seventeen years of my life before I came to Forks, thought I would ever say these words to anyone," Bella began, linking her arms behind my neck and pressing herself closer to me. "But I _really_ wanted to marry you, Edward Cullen. I wanted to be your wife and spend all of eternity with you. I know what really matters is what we feel in our hearts, and not what's written on a piece of paper, but I really did want it all with you."

"As did I, Bella, but married or not, you're still my everything. And if you are right, and there is an existence beyond this for someone like me, there's still hope that we will have that eternity together, even if not as we had planned," I whispered in reply, lowering my forehead to her shoulder and hugging her close. "I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you, too," she responded just as softly, turning her head just enough to kiss the curve of my jaw and bring her lips to my ear. "There's just one last thing I want tonight, since becoming your wife isn't possible."

I watched as she pulled out of my embrace and removed her coat, dropping it unceremoniously to the floor. Then I stiffened as she returned to me and began unbuttoning my shirt. "Bella…"

Her fingers rose to my lips and pressed against them, followed by her own in a soft kiss. "Not that. As amazing as it would be to share that with you, the act itself is not what's important to me. I just want to be as close to you as I can possibly get and share a part of me that only the man I wanted to spend my life with would ever see."

Our gazes remained locked as she returned to the task of unbuttoning my shirt and discarding it to join her coat on the floor. For the first time, I paid no regard to something that would have usually driven me to distraction; all I saw was her. Her hands took mine and she guided me back to the bed, and then began manipulating the button of my jeans. I closed my eyes at the feel of her warm fingers moving along the skin at my waistband, and my hand came to rest over hers as I opened them to look at her.

"I know the limits," Bella whispered reassuringly, brushing my lips with hers. "I _just_ want to be close to you."

Bringing my hand up to caress on her face, I kissed her more firmly, and then nodded with my forehead resting on hers. "Just the pants."

I felt her fingertips on my jaw and her breath ghosting over my lips as she spoke. "We're on the same page, Edward. No matter what the situation or the outcome, I wouldn't want my first time with you to be born out of the fear of tomorrow. I would rather die a virgin than make love to you just because I'm terrified. Intimacy is so much more important than sex. So, if all we ever do is touch, I'm more than happy with that."

I began sliding out of my shoes, and Bella took that as a cue to continue with undressing me. As soon as all that remained was my boxer briefs, I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at her, finding a smoldering in her eyes that I had never seen before. She stood in front of me and her gaze never left mine as she kicked off her shoes and unfastened her pants, sliding them off along with her socks. I swallowed hard as her arms crossed over her stomach to grasp the hem of her t-shirt and lift it over her head, and my eyes ran over her body, taking her in fully. Even with her modesty still partially intact by her undergarments, she was still the most exotic sight I'd ever viewed. I held my hand out to her and she slid hers into it, slowly trailing it up my forearm to my bicep, until it grasped my shoulder as she lowered onto my lap, straddling my legs. "I love you."

Bella's eyes glistened with just the hint of tears as she took my face between her hands and gazed at me with so much love, she didn't _need_ to say the words. I could both see and feel it, but she did anyway. "I love you, too."

Our lips met again and moved together in slow, tender motions, and I wrapped my arm around her waist to guide us back onto the bed. All too soon, she pulled away, sitting back on my thighs and taking a deep breath, and then reached behind her to unclasp her bra. I never expected all her nerves to completely abandon her, despite our current situation—hell, even I had countless thoughts and emotions coursing through me, including uncertainty in myself. So, I wasn't surprised when just the hint of a blush touched her cheeks as the fabric fell from her body and she couldn't meet my eyes for a moment.

I took the garment from her hand and let it fall to the floor beside us, and then laced my fingers with hers. Her eyes finally met mine again as I pressed my lips to her wrist. "You're beautiful, Bella."

A small smile appeared as she lowered her body flush with mine and kissed me, and I curled my arms around her to roll us to the side, facing each other. The feel of her bare, warm skin against mine was indescribable, and could, if given the chance, drive me past my breaking point. Yet, those thoughts were pushed back to the far recesses of my mind.

Until I felt her leg hitch at my hip, and I had to pause and break away from the kiss for a moment to gather myself, although my hand remained on her thigh. I knew our time was ticking by quickly, but I would not risk hurting her in any way by letting go and losing myself completely in the moment. It may have been limited, but we still had time.

"Please, just touch me, Edward," Bella whispered as I felt her nails comb gently through my hair and along my scalp. It was clear from the hint of desperation in her voice that she was not referring to the current motion of my fingers, tracing paths on the skin of her thigh.

I glided them along her leg and over her hip, gradually ascending her side until my hand slid around the outer curve of her breast, and she took a slow, shaky breath in. It wasn't the first time I had touched her in that way, but the sensation was so different without the barrier of clothing between her skin and mine. She was clearly just as affected by it, as I watched her head fall back and her lips part with a gasp, which grew sharper when I moved to fully encase her breast in my hand. Her breath shuddered as it released, and she opened her eyes to look up at me, seemingly watching mine for any sign of hesitance.

For the first time, I barely felt any at all, until I watched her lips begin to tremble, and not from emotion. Even the warmth of her skin beneath my palm was beginning to diminish, but when I moved to pull away, her fingers circled my wrist, holding my hand in place. "Bella, you're cold. Your lips will start turning blue any moment now."

"I know," she replied softly, but shook her head and didn't budge. "One more minute, and then you can wrap me in the blanket, okay?"

"All right. One more minute," I conceded and was met by her smile while her palm moved along the back of my hand, gliding her fingers between mine. We held onto that moment for as long as we could, and I watched as that smile fell with her nod. She shifted away as I grabbed the blanket from behind her, wrapping it around her body and cocooning her in warmth.

The instant her teeth stopped chattering, she scooted closer to me again, and her hand peeked out from the blanket to settle on my chest. "Thank you."

I tried not to chuckle, but even in that moment, I could still find humor in her statement. "You're thanking _me_ for essentially groping you?"

"Well, if anyone would have the right to, it would be you," Bella replied with an attempt at a laugh, but her emotions began getting the better of her again, and tears started returning to her eyes. "I know we could never have predicted this, especially since even Alice didn't, but I still can't help but feel that we wasted so much time. Everything was necessary, I _know_. My mind is aware of that, but…"

Her nails dragging lightly on my chest conveyed everything it seemed her words could not—she wished we could have shared more before that moment arrived. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to her forehead, running my hand slowly up and down her back. If all happened as we expected, we would never have another moment like that. I would never be able to kiss her again, hold her as she slept, or hear her mumbled words as she did. I would never see the day where I would watch her walk down the aisle toward me or have the chance to make love to her. I was in agreement with her that I didn't want an ultimate act of love between us to be rushed into out of fear, but it obviously wasn't the only way to share intimacy together.

"Touch me, Bella." I spoke softly against her skin, but I had no doubt that she heard me. Her fingers ceased their movement on my chest and her breathing stalled, as her face tilted upward to look at me. I opened my eyes to gaze back at her, watching hers flicker as she processed my words. "I want you to touch me, as only you ever would."

Bella's momentary hesitation was reasonable, considering how reserved and adamant I had been in the past about such actions, but it diminished quickly. In her eyes, I only saw love and understanding, and I felt it when she took a moment to bring her hand to my cheek and kiss me. "Tell me when it gets to be too much."

I agreed with a nod, feeling my brow tighten in response as my eyes pinched closed again, to the notion that she would need to worry about something like that. Her own reaction was unsurprising, however, as she urged me to look at her again.

"It's okay. I fell in love with you, Edward. Every part of you, just as you are. We've never fit into the cookie cutter mold of 'normal', and I wouldn't have had it any other way. There is not a single thing I would change, all right?" Bella gazed imploringly into my eyes, and I could only reply by kissing her again before nodding for her to proceed.

Slowly, her fingertips trailed along my throat and over my Adam's apple, down my chest and abdomen, until she reached the rim of my boxer briefs. With one more shared look to assure that I was still okay, her hand moved over the fabric and glided over me gently.

I had never felt anything like that in the entire century of my existence, neither human or vampire, and even with all the restraint I could muster, she still gave a soft hiss as my hips instinctually surged forward.

Before I could even form the question as to whether I'd hurt her, she answered it as she curled her fingers around me. I couldn't deny that every part of me desired her, and her touch was intensifying those feelings, but I still refused to make that moment about base lust. What we were sharing was far more important than that, and if one fairly restrained movement had caused her to wince, I wouldn't chance anything worse, even if we _had_ both wanted to.

I stepped out of my own head for a moment and gazed at her, focusing on her face as she explored the most intimate part of me, only making the gentlest of movements. Even then, the urge inside me started to become too strong and I had to ask her to stop. She immediately pulled her hand away, tucking herself back inside the blanket again and allowing me to collect myself. Once the tension began releasing from my body, I opened my mouth to speak, but as if knowing what I was going to say, she silenced me with her fingers to my lips.

" _Every_ part of you, Edward. No exceptions," she whispered before removing her touch and replacing it with her lips in a soft kiss. "And no regrets. Thank you for allowing me to share that with you."

I rolled our bodies until she was on her back and settled my head on her chest, calming myself with the soothing sound of her heart beating. "Thank you for loving me."

"It wasn't always easy," she replied with a chuckle, although I could hear the tears in her voice as her fingers returned to playing with my hair. "But it _was_ always worth it."


	4. The Volturi Guard

**A/N: Erica is back in AZ, and we are celebrating by posting another chapter. :)**

 **Also, on a side note, we did take some creative liberty on the vampiric gifts, particularly Alec's, and you will likely see more in the future. But we tried to keep it as canon as possible wherever we could.**

 **Hope you all enjoy!**

 **Chapter 4 ~ The Volturi Guard**

 **Bella**

Tension thickened the air as everyone sat in the living room; Alice having called us to join her there only a few minutes earlier. Her latest vision gave us a to-the-minute time for the arrival of the guard.

"Has anything changed?" I dared to ask, since Edward gave no clear indication of what he had or hadn't seen, his features soft and somewhat placating. I knew he did it for my benefit, but my heart was already racing.

"Nothing has changed. The moment she figures out you're human, she'll state that we've broken the law."

I nodded and sat down. "A part of me wishes I never brought this upon you."

Surprisingly, Rosalie offered me some comfort. "Then we would've never witnessed Edward falling in love." She shrugged. "Even if it _was_ with a human." Emmett snickered and rolled his eyes, some of the tension dissipating from his shoulders. As if he noticed, he went back to a protective stance, standing as close to Rosalie as possible.

"I have to admit, Rosalie is right." Jasper held a smile for a brief moment, looking at Edward. "It was nice to feel something other than loneliness from him."

Edward turned a bit shy instead of defensive, sitting down beside me and pulling me onto his lap. I blushed from the sudden movement, surprised and somewhat embarrassed by his display.

The others snickered.

"It has been a pleasure to see," Esme said wistfully, her hand on Edward's shoulder. "I always worried about you."

"I know," Edward whispered, his chin resting gently on the top of my head. "I truly understand why it's so hard for you all to be away from your mate."

I sighed and settled my cheek on his shoulder, my lips skimming his neck. If he didn't mind a little PDA, then I could handle it, too. Though it would take some getting used to, being that I blush in the blink of an eye.

 _Except you're never going to get a chance to get used to it. Ever._

A quiet conversation, too fast for my mind to capture, took place, but I didn't let it bother me. I already knew the strategy they had in mind. Stay close to Edward but behind him. Emmett would stand by Edward and myself, while Rosalie flanked his side. Jasper would be to Carlisle's left, Alice behind him, and Esme beside her. It would be a formidable wall of safety, if we weren't about to stand in front a group of vampires capable of destroying them all in seconds.

If that.

I shuddered, unable to prevent a myriad of disturbing images from forming in my mind. Before Edward could ask what was wrong, Alice gestured for us to go outside. It wouldn't be long now.

Edward stood with me in his arms, setting me down after holding me closer for a few precious moments. "I love you." His cold lips touched my temple, his fingers circling mine. "Remember stay close, don't draw attention to yourself unless directly asked a question by one of the guard. Answer as honestly as possible, but with as little information as you can manage."

"Yeah, we both know I'm a horrible liar."

Edward looked serious. "Jane would know you're lying in less than a heartbeat and that would be enough for her to punish you."

I exhaled sharply and nodded. "Answer honestly, but stick to that and only that. Got it."

"And do not expose your neck." He removed the loose ponytail from my hair and moved it all to the front on each side and zipped my jacket completely.

"There's no use in hiding her scent," Emmett reasoned. "I could smell her from the end of the driveway."

"I know," Edward said through tight lips.

"It's too bad we didn't ask the wolves to roll around in the snow outside, it could've bought us some time." Jasper held Alice's hand and shrugged. "Their stench would've hidden her scent for a minute. I thought about it, but they were aggravated enough."

Carlisle led the way into the backyard that brought us through Esme's pristine gardens and the wilderness behind their beautiful home. Every step I took to join everyone outside felt like lead weights were attached to the soles of my shoes. My anxiety about the safety of this beautiful family and myself increased as everyone had gone silent; all too consumed yet had accepted what was to come.

My dream, or nightmare, depending on the perspective, showed me a casual conversation with a red-eyed girl. She appeared to be no more than fifteen or sixteen, but the look in her eyes said otherwise. I hadn't mentioned it to Edward, but the dream had disturbed me.

I'd been alone.

I held onto the back of Edward's sweater and peeked around him for a glimpse across the small clearing and toward the tree line. "How long?"

I felt his muscles go rigid under my touch as Alice informed us that they were less than five minutes out, at most, and he nodded. "I can hear them."

From past conversations, I knew that meant that they were within two or three miles, if Edward was picking up their thoughts. I'd tried not to show my fear all morning, but at that moment, I couldn't hold it in. My arm slid around Edward's waist as I pressed my lips just below his shoulder blade and rested my forehead against his back. "I love you, Edward."

His hand covered mine, holding it against his stomach as he whispered the sentiment back to me again, and I hugged around him fully. I wanted nothing more than to hold onto him and repeat those words over and over, but I felt everything stop with two words, vibrating through his chest. "They're here."

My hand returned to his as I stepped back slightly, watching the same spot as before, and tried to calm my racing heart as the four cloaked figures suddenly emerged from the shadows of the trees. They almost appeared to have walked straight out of my nightmares.

Carlisle nodded his head in greeting as they came to a stop about twenty feet away, though still close enough for me to spot four pairs of the blazing red eyes, as well as the face in the leading role. "Jane. What a pleasant surprise."

A perfectly-shaped eyebrow rose on the girl's face, as her gaze traveled along the line of us. "Is it, now? For such a surprise, your greeting appears to be remarkably prepared."

"I assumed that Aro would be curious about our latest addition, so we knew we should be prepared for a visit of some kind," Carlisle answered, and I couldn't help but be amazed by how calm he was remaining, despite the escalating tension.

"And I would presume this is her," Jane said in a calm, chilling voice as her gaze landed directly on me, and it took everything within me not to shrink back. "It seems that you failed to mention that she is human. Now why would you have left that little detail out?"

Edward shifted sideways to block me even more from her, but I brought my hand to his arm to stop him. He made no effort to hide his frustration, but in the end, allowed me to keep a view of what was going on in front of us before speaking. "It was never my intent to become involved with anyone, let alone a human. I tried to stay away, but I couldn't. I assure you that Bella will be changed, the plans are already in motion."

I noticed the shift in Edward immediately as she responded. "The fact remains that you have broken the law. She is _human._ "

All at once things happened so quickly, my mind had trouble making sense of any of it; too much to comprehend all at once.

Edward stood in front of me in a protective stance similar to Emmett with Rosalie earlier. The others closed in around me, Emmett pulling me further back.

With a shift of Jane's eyes to one of the others in the guard, he stepped forward, a slight tilt to the shape of his full lips. Then her attention returned to us once again.

Edward fell to his knees, Jane's blood red gaze zeroed in on him. Jasper's description of her powers came to my mind in that excruciating second as I tried to escape Emmett's hold on my arm.

An impossible task.

" _Jane can incapacitate you with pain by simply looking at you."_

The sound of Edward's strained groans from the immense pain seemed to echo in the expanse between us and them. Jasper and Alice immediately started toward Jane, Carlisle and Esme not far behind; the instinct to protect someone they loved driving them forward.

"Alec," Jane said, a sinister smile on her lips, her eyes remaining on Edward. He cried out even louder, his golden irises transforming to black as he stared up to a darkening sky.

All six of the remaining Cullens then abruptly stopped as if someone captured them with an invisible hold. Emmett's grip fell from my arm and I didn't bother to look at him as I scrambled to crouch in front of Edward, uncaring of what Jane did to me, as long as she stopped hurting him.

Edward twitched at my touch, trying to look at me, and slowly became more alert by the time he met my eyes as we started to stand up. A little huff of irritation came from one of the members of the guard, and whatever was the reason for it seemed to make Edward's eyes widen in horror.

"Interesting," a strong, deep male voice emitted from within the group.

Before I could ascertain where it came from, another growl of irritation sounded, forcing me to look toward the guard. Edward's hand gripped mine tightly, but he never uttered another word, his lips snapped shut and his body became unyielding within my hold.

I looked at the others, my gaze falling to each member of the family and finding them in the same state. Alec had the power to immobilize them by taking _all_ their senses, that much I was told. Yet, it was clear that Edward and his family were aware from the look of fear in their eyes. They hadn't mentioned Alec could take certain senses and allow others to remain. Could that be it?

If it was true, Alec was a cruel weapon for torture.

The look in Jane's eyes told me everything I needed to know; they could see and hear everything but were powerless to help.

I was alone; the question was, why? Were they doing this on purpose? To make an already defenseless human even more so?

"Alec," Jane hissed, but her brother shook his head, keeping his hands up.

"Very interesting," the voice from before sounded again, and that time, I looked to see the largest of them, Edward had said his name was Felix, observing me in obvious fascination. "Aro would want to hear about this."

Jane's dark gaze snapped to me, a sneer on her lips. She stepped forward, but not enough to close the gap. "Pain."

I stood in front of Edward, my hand around his and I raised my chin, ready for whatever punishment she gave me. It killed me to know that Edward and the others would have to watch and be able to do nothing. I couldn't imagine feeling that helpless when they each had strength capable of such destruction.

She stepped closer, her gaze narrowing and the sneer turning to fury. "Try again, Alec."

"I am, sister."

"You must call Aro," Felix insisted, his tone saying it all. Firm and deep, but with respect to her power.

"He would be most displeased if you did not," the last remaining member of the group spoke, the process of elimination leaving him to be Demetri.

I kept my face as immobile as the others, though inside, my mind turned chaotic. Edward had indicated early on in our relationship that he couldn't hear me for some reason. From the anger transforming Jane's cherubic face to one of pure malice, it seemed safe to assume that her and her brother's powers also didn't work on me.

Jane walked toward me, the others following close behind her. I refused to cower, though every nerve in my body told me to run. She pulled out a small cell phone from within her billowing black cloak the moment she was less than five feet in front of me.

Edward remained immobile, but I could imagine the horror he felt at their close proximity to me. As if those within the guard realized the same thing, they smiled at me, two of them with keen interest; Alec and Jane, however, appeared malevolent.

"Master," Jane greeted Aro, I assumed. "She's human." A moment of silence lasted only a second, before she answered again. "No, Alec has them under control for the moment."

I couldn't hear Aro's response, only hers. However, I knew Edward and his family could hear Jane's master through the phone line.

"They stated that a plan for her change was in motion." She looked away and closed her eyes. "I had Alec put them under his control while I meted Edward's punishment, with the intention to have him watch as Felix killed her, that is, until she stepped in front of him."

Her malicious gaze landed on me again, the will to destroy me evident in her crimson eyes. She wanted to, merely due to the fact that I'd somehow bested her. Me—a fragile little human.

"She's immune to my power." It seemed to take considerable control for her not to strike me down as she spoke those words. "And Alec's."

The other vampire, much smaller but just as deadly as the enormous Felix, looked straight at me as he spoke up. "Nor mine, Master."

I had no doubt Aro could hear him.

A lengthy silence once again stretched between our groups. The only sound was the breakneck speed of my beating heart and breathing.

I couldn't remember Demetri's power as my mind whirled with possible ways to talk myself out of the situation; it hardly mattered when Jane's next words were delivered sharply.

"Alec, take all their senses, Master wants to talk to her."


	5. Powerless

**A/N: So Erica is returning home tomorrow, which :(...but on the bright side, we did manage to finish another chapter for this story, in addition to going to see Twilight in the theaters together last night. Been a good weekend. Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

 **Edward**

I thought nothing could be worse than the excruciating period of agonizing pain inflicted by Jane, but I was sorely mistaken. Before I could even fully recover my senses from that assault, they were stripped from me again, but that time, by Alec; only leaving me with sight and sound. I would take the agony of transformation and the effects of Jane's gaze again, all at once, over the pain coursing through my entire being the instant I lost the sensation of Bella's touch, even though I could see her hand holding onto my arm as clear as day. Those moments of complete immobility, viewing and hearing everything around me, yet only being able to guess at their sadistic thoughts and intents toward Bella was torturous, and it terrified me. With all my strength, it was not within my power to protect her, and she was left completely defenseless.

However, even that paled in comparison to what followed the words, _Alec, take all their senses, Master wants to talk to her._

Not once in all eighty-eight years of my existence as a vampire had I ever experienced fear and helplessness as I had in those seemingly infinite moments, not knowing what would meet my eyes when my vision returned, if it ever did.

What would they do to her once I could not protect her? Would she be dead, or would my ears relish once more in the sound of her heartbeat? Even their thoughts were blocked from me with the mist, but I had to believe that, if they intended to kill Bella, they would have ensured that I would suffer through every torturous moment of it, unable to stop them.

 _Please, just let her be alive._

When the cloud finally lifted from my vision and sound began making its way to my ears again, the Volturi were gone. My eyes began searching frantically for Bella as I gained my bearings, and I froze at the sight of her.

Her gaze was focused aimlessly in front of her, and she didn't appear to be breathing, but her heart was racing a mile a minute, and then she blinked. I rushed toward her and swept her into my arms, holding her still frame against me as I repeatedly kissed her hair, and we were encircled by my family.

"Oh, my love. My beautiful Bella. You're safe," I almost whimpered in my relief of having her in my embrace, but it was short-lived as her body remained frozen in place, and she started shaking her head. "What's wrong? Please, Bella, just tell me."

Her eyes snapped to mine as I gently shook her, holding her shoulders, and then they began to well with tears, flickering amongst us and accounting for each member of the family. Then it seemed as if her body gave out, nearly collapsing to the ground, but I caught her in my arms as she began to sob. I gave her a moment to come to terms with all that had transpired and release the pent-up tension and fear she felt, lifting her into my arms and carrying her into the house. As I settled onto the couch with her cradled in my lap, I shook my head at Jasper when he silently asked if I wanted his help in calming her. She needed to get this out now, or it would still be there later and possibly even compounded by suppression.

I began to question that mindset as Bella sprang from my lap suddenly and ran toward the nearest bathroom, expelling the limited contents of her stomach. I remained rooted to my spot, knowing she would likely be embarrassed if I witnessed her becoming ill. When she emerged, she didn't immediately return to the living room, and instead, headed upstairs to the one outside my bedroom to brush her teeth, but her breathing was calmer and more regulated—I just wished the same could be said for her heart.

I did my best to tune out my family, their thoughts bombarding me from every direction. All asking the same questions I had for Bella. They understood that whatever happened frightened her enough to make her ill. Though the unknown clawed at them as much as it did me, they would follow my lead.

How could I think of her as fragile when she faced The Volturi Guard on her own? My silent question was answered when she returned to the entryway of the living room, her face was streaked with tears. She released a small sob and ran to sit on my lap again, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

My arms curled around her, kissing her hair as I gently rocked her in my embrace. "What on earth would you possibly have to be sorry for, love? I should be the one apologizing to you. Are you all right? Did they harm you in any way?"

The hesitantly insistent voices of my family buzzed in my mind. I saw her answer in Alice's vision, sending some relief through me.

"No, really, I'm fine. Physically, anyway," Bella responded, slowly releasing a breath and then her head snapped toward me. Her hands came up to first hold my face and then moved to my shoulders, arms, chest, and back up again, meeting my eyes. "What about you…what she did…are you okay?"

Franticness had returned to her voice, and I took her hands in mine, kissing along the knuckles of each. "I'm fine, Bella. Don't worry about me. It was nothing I couldn't handle, and she's gone now."

Bella began shaking her head slowly and her fingers gripped around mine. "It's not over, Edward. Aro has laid out his terms for sparing us and I'm supposed to relay the message. I messed up. You told me how I should handle them, and I wasn't thinking. I was so scared, and I didn't think…"

Aro had conditions—of course he did. I honestly expected no less when they had departed without carrying out the long-established consequences for breaking our most sacred law of secrecy. Yet, the terror that ran through me at that moment with Bella's trembling and increasing sobs was more intense than anything I'd felt in the last week combined.

"Bella, please calm down and tell us what's going on." I attempted to keep my voice level as I palmed her face, swiping the trail of tears from her cheeks. "What do you think you've done wrong? We're all still here, aren't we?"

Her eyes met mine and she released a shuddering breath. "Our clock is ticking. I explained to Aro why we hadn't moved forward with my change and the reasons with my dad being a cop, and drawing more attention by disappearing…everything, but it didn't matter."

My guard instantly went up as I secured my arms around her protectively. "What do you mean it didn't matter?"

Bella drew in a shaky breath and met my gaze again with her tear-filled eyes. "We have until the end of summer to get married, then we need to disappear, and you have to change me. We have to 'die' on our honeymoon, and Aro expects a visit within a year. From _both_ of us."

I immediately flew into a panic once again, exchanging glances with Carlisle and shaking my head as his thoughts mirrored my own. "He's setting us up for failure."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "Even the strongest of newborns aren't ready to be in the presence of humans in the matter of months. There's no way that she would be ready for any form of travel within a year."

" _Listen_! This isn't about me killing anyone, or the consequences of that. He knows about Edward's gift," Bella exclaimed, taking us all by surprise. "He was curious, because nothing worked on me. Not Jane or even Alec, or that other guard, Demetri, either."

Bella shook her head, seemingly unable to understand, but through the thoughts Carlisle sent to me, he did. Demetri's powers failed to work on her, which meant she could hide, if necessary, to buy us time. She would have to do it alone, though, because his powers would lead him straight to her if she was with any of us. I knew any idea of sending her away would fail on my part. Hadn't I failed staying away from her already?

Bella shuddered in my arms, pulling me from my chaotic thoughts. "He was probably just asking rhetorically, but he asked why would that be? I told him that yours didn't, either." She looked at me then, tears in her eyes. "I slipped. Then he asked if your gift requires touch. I knew I couldn't lie, not with Jane glaring at me. I'm so sorry."

"Keep going, love," I whispered, pulling her closer and kissing her temple. Fear and dread ran like acid through my entire body, waiting for my worst fears to come true.

"He went quiet, the silence was deafening, and all he really said beyond that was I would make 'for an intriguing immortal' and sounded like a damn creeper with the way he said my full name, _Isabella._ " There was no missing another shiver of fear crawling through her, as she pulled back to look at me. "He said _you_ must present me to the Volturi as proof that I'm not human anymore. He wants _just_ the two of us to go."

If I required breath, it would have ceased right there with her words as the interaction with Jane and Alec, two of Aro's most powerful weapons, came rushing back.

Bella had not crumpled to the ground in agony as I had upon Jane's gaze fixing on her. When Alec had merely immobilized us, she remained completely unaffected and set herself in front of me, as if to guard me from harm. Then finally, she touched me while I was writhing on the ground in pain, and a sensation began coursing through me like a drug, slowly ebbing the pain away until it was tolerable, though never completely disappearing.

My fragile little human had managed to unwittingly outmaneuver beings that a collective of seven vampires were powerless against. The Volturi, and Aro in particular, never took kindly to humiliation, and that was exactly how it should have been viewed; a lowly human immune to their otherwise crippling powers. However, Bella actually had the potential of being a formidable force of nature; far beyond simply blocking me from her thoughts. Aro wanted to know what she would become as an immortal, and combining that with my ability to read minds without the requirement of touch, as his did…

"No. _No_ ," I immediately began protesting, my voice losing its ferocity in my despair. "Don't tell me Aro wants you for the guard."

Why had that not once been a consideration? Why had we not thought of that possible outcome?

The answer was simple, although in hindsight, we _should_ have considered it—we didn't know the full range of Bella's ability. While I couldn't hear her thoughts, Alice could still see her future and Jasper could affect her mood. I believed, perhaps foolishly, that it was simply due to the bond to her as my mate that caused the silence of her mind to me. I'd been proven wrong.

"Right now, he's undecided. The next course is still hanging in the balance," Alice piped in, her gaze staring off, as it did while focusing on a prospective future.

"That's why our reasons didn't matter," I stated in a tight voice. "If Bella's transformation yields no extraordinary gift, he could still have every reason to destroy us if she's not in complete control yet. And if it does, he has leverage. She leaves me to join the guard in exchange for sparing us, or we all die, and now it's been clearly displayed that she would be willing to put me especially, before herself. She's just proven that. Even if she didn't, and gave herself over to spare us, he knows that would be a punishment far worse than death for me."

"There is also the possibility that he could be looking to acquire you both. I've always thought that traits in our human life are amplified exponentially after the change," Carlisle added, his thoughts swirling in my own mind. "But Aro also has no regard for the sanctity of the bond between mates. Even if Bella's ability does not grow in strength after her change, he knows that Edward's gift would be a useful addition to the guard."

"And he'd still have leverage. He'd use not only my family, but Bella as well, to try and bend my will."

"This could work to our advantage," Alice suddenly interjected, and every pair of eyes in the room suddenly shot toward her in shock.

Bella gripped her fingers tightly around my hand and asked desperately, "How?"

* * *

 **A/N 2: Sorry for the cliffie yet again, but we have another POV change happening. Hopefully we will be able to get the next chapter up promptly. :)**


	6. The Hands of Fate

**Bella**

"Alice, this isn't the time for guessing games," Edward growled, and she immediately leveled him with a glare that anyone who'd known her for more than five minutes could read.

 _You should know better than to think that, Edward._

I could almost see her whirl of thoughts running through his mind, and he gazed at her with cautious optimism.

"I never said it would be a guaranteed success, Edward. But it could possibly buy us some time, and any form of hope is better than none, right?" Alice pointed out, and at his nod, turned her attention to the rest of us. "Even if Bella's gift doesn't materialize into something more powerful right away, it also shouldn't weaken or disappear, either. If he's intrigued now, he'd be even more interested to see what it would become."

"What do you mean, 'what it would become'?" I asked anxiously with my gaze focused on Alice until Carlisle hummed in contemplation. "What?"

"Gifts can be developed over time, with patience and effort, Bella. When Edward was first changed, he could only hear thoughts within half a mile at most, and even those were not entirely clear. Another example is Alice," Carlisle began, his eyes shifting for a moment to Edward and I felt the arm around me tighten a little. "Before you moved here, Alice would have momentary flickers of a pair of brown eyes but had no idea what it meant. Only that, rather than going to New York as we had planned, we needed to relocate to Forks."

Edward's head reclined to rest back against the couch and I turned my focus to him, noticing a pained expression on his face that had me slightly worried. "She never really thought to look too intensely into it, assuming that its meaning would eventually reveal itself in time, until that first day in Biology. She became quite distressed afterward, because she hadn't seen you clearly, or my reaction to you and how close I would come to killing you. Because her main focus had been Jasper at the time."

"So, then you started focusing on Edward?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

Alice nodded with her eyes moving toward him. "Yes, even though he made me dizzy the entire time he was in Alaska with his indecisiveness."

I glanced at him as well, hearing his sigh and just briefly catching the rolling of his eyes. Gently tracing my fingers through his hair, I pressed my lips to his temple. "He has quite a talent for that at times."

Even though the resulting smiles were somewhat forced, it still served as a much-needed, if only temporary, break in the tension. The room soon filled again with the weight of uncomfortable silence, and Alice continued. "But I also started trying to focus on you, too, and that was something I had never done before. Decision processes for humans are vastly different from vampires, so attuning myself to you took some time, and a lot more focus. Now, it's obviously a lot clearer than it was when I started."

"And tell us what happened with Jane," Carlisle started, looking squarely at Edward and causing him to shift uncomfortably. "Edward, I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of her gift. Aro does not take kindly to anyone deciding to leave his circle, and yet, you were able to stand under the full force of it."

Edward glanced at me hesitantly. I knew it couldn't have been easy for him—reliving such a painful experience, and with me present as well, but he nodded with a reluctant sigh. "When Bella touched me, at first, it was just a tingling sensation around the area of contact, and a lot of warmth, but it spread from there. It was almost like morphine coursing through my body, and it slowly made the pain a little more bearable. I've never experienced anything like it."

"If my suspicions are correct, it's likely you may never do so again," Carlisle responded, seemingly deep in thought. "In almost three and a half centuries, it's been a rare occurrence to come across one such as Bella, but I've never seen anything like that. And Bella, you felt nothing that whole time?"

I shook my head, briefly glancing at Edward and saw the tension in his eyes. "No, nothing. Why did that happen?"

"That's what I thought," Edward muttered to himself, but his gaze was on Carlisle, lingering there for a moment and having one of their silent conversations before returning his eyes to me. "You're a shield, Bella, and that's why Aro would want you. Despite the limited scope of it now as a human, which even that is extremely rare, he has no one like you. If you can shield me as a human, you could be an invaluable asset as a vampire, if you were able to expand it."

"Which is where the 'intriguing immortal' comment comes in, right?" I asked and Edward merely nodded in agreement. "So, how would that solve our problem, one way or the other, if he'd want me anyway? I won't leave Edward, and neither of us would leave you all, especially for the Volturi, so we'd end up right where we started."

Alice heaved a heavy sigh and waved her arms out, bringing Jasper to her side and calming her instantly. "It's not a solution. It just buys us some time, like I said. Gifts like that can take decades to develop, especially to a degree that would be of any real use to Aro. He won't ask you to join him until your gift is perfected."

"Meaning that we can use the excuse that, since I'm a newborn, my power hasn't had the chance to fully develop if it doesn't work to his standards when we visit?"

Edward nodded and even Jasper appeared hopeful, though only for a moment, when he seemed to be sharing a thought with Edward. "Jasper says this conversation may put us in danger. He'll know this is what we're hoping for the moment he insists on reading my mind."

Carlisle explained again to me that Aro didn't merely read current thoughts, as Edward did, on whomever he touched, but everything, down to their emotions and senses, of every memory.

"That would anger him, wouldn't it? Learning that we're planning to outsmart him." I had to ask what I was sure everyone was thinking. What was the use of my shield if I couldn't protect Edward from Aro, Jane, and Alec when we visited?

Carlisle sighed as he started to pace, Esme worriedly watching him. "Once you undergo the change and you manage to gain some control after a few hunts, the first thing we'd have to do is test your gift and work to expand it if necessary." He turned to look at us all, his face grave. "It's essential that you're able to shield Edward during your visit and use the newborn/mate bond as an excuse as to why you can't drop it from him. It's instinctual."

Alice hummed, nodding as her eyes glazed over again. "Yes, now it's shaping up. It could work, though none of us will be able to help her after the change. We'd have to stay close to Charlie."

I had to file away the comment about my father. If I lingered on it, it would send me into a tailspin that I didn't want to face yet. Not with so much else on the line. I looked from Edward to Jasper, and then from Alice to Carlisle; they were all closely watching me. "Are you saying that the fate of both our lives is in _my_ hands?"

Alice cursed as darkness grew on the fringes of my vision, and Carlisle looked remorseful as I started to hyperventilate.

Edward quickly carried me up to his room after Carlisle made me swallow something to take the edge off. "Calm down, love. Your beautiful heart is going so fast."

I looked at him as if he was crazy. No pressure, right? I only had to fly in airplanes usually manned by _humans_ as a five-month-old vampire, at most, and learn to not kill them, shield my husband-to-be from an ancient vampire, and break my father's heart shortly after my wedding.

I let Alice help me dress into some silky pajamas as the medication started to kick in, despite it barely being eleven o'clock in the morning. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted, even without the help of a sedative, from the small amount of fitful sleep the night before. Edward slipped into bed with me and hummed my lullaby as I welcomed my dreams for the first time in a week.

.

.

.

The room had become dim again as the lightly medicated sleep started to drift away, and I felt Edward beside me, his fingers sliding through my hair and his voice whispering my name to wake me. Apparently, I had slept the day away, and soon, he would need to take me home, as we had school the following morning. Unable to face reality yet, I clung to the darkness, my face nuzzling the blanket that kept me from him. His answering sigh reverberated in his chest, further pulling me from my dreams.

"It's going to be all right, Bella."

"You're not the bloodthirsty newborn in this scenario." My hand swept up his stomach to lay on his chest. I looked up at him and sighed. His features were hardened by fear and something akin to remorse. "No regrets, remember? Just because we survived, and yet another sword hangs over our head again, doesn't mean I regret any of this. Especially you, Edward."

His eyes softened in understanding. "I know. I have none, either, other than wishing I was human. I am sorry that we were all so anxious to understand why we survived that we pushed to get answers from you. My family wanted to apologize, but they all left to give us some privacy."

I wasn't going to lie and say it was fine. It was no secret that I hated to be the center of attention and add to that the tension from the guard's visit, all their eyes on me, I felt like I'd been on display. I didn't necessarily blame them, given the circumstances, but it hadn't eased my anxiety by any means. "I know they didn't mean to upset me further. It's just so much to take in all at once. I thought the hardest part would be over if we managed to survive their visit, but now, there's this. How am I supposed to protect you from Aro, even if this ability does become stronger when I'm changed, if I couldn't even do that with Alec? And what if it doesn't, or no matter how hard I try, it never develops at all, or worse, it disappears?"

Edward hushed me, running his hand in a soothing motion along my back, as my fist clenched tightly on his t-shirt. "Bella, try to calm down, love. We have time to figure this out, and it doesn't need to be tonight. For now, let's just focus on this moment. We're still here, together."

I nodded, the corners of my mouth finally managing to twitch into something starting to resemble a smile. My fingers began slowly releasing the fabric in my grasp and my palm flattened on his chest, running slowly up to his shoulder. "And we're going to get our wedding."

"That we will," Edward replied, brushing a soft kiss on my lips and pulling me closer. Our arms encircled one another, and I clung tightly to him, as the full realization of that notion sunk in. The immediate peril was over. After being so afraid for days, and even carrying through that morning, the concept of relief was so foreign, it was overwhelming. With the way his arms secured around me and the passion in his kiss, I could feel how intense it was for Edward as well.

Suddenly, he rolled me onto my back, and I whimpered as his body settled above mine. Yet, nothing surprised me more than his hand running down along my waist, grazing my backside before stopping at my thigh, hooking my leg around his. My fingers weaved into his hair and clenched the strands in my fist, and it seemed to encourage him rather than causing him to pull away.

Breathless, I tilted my head back into the pillow and parted from his lips, feeling them brush against my chin. Once I finally calmed enough, I brought my gaze back to meet his, only to find his eyes closed, and his forehead lowered to rest on mine. Even without the benefit of seeing his golden irises staring back at me, I could still see the thoughts coursing through his mind.

"I think someone needs to abide by his own words," I said, trailing my fingers along his cheek. "What has you pondering so hard?"

At first, he started to shake his head, but when he opened his eyes to look at me, finding my eyebrow raised, he sighed softly. "I'm not dreading the future, Bella. I'm not worried about the Volturi, or even your change, for the most part. It'll just be a bit sooner than we'd planned, which will be difficult on each of us, for our own reasons."

I circled my arms around his shoulders and nuzzled my nose along his. I knew exactly what he meant. We'd both hoped to have a little longer to prepare, which was why we'd planned on the year of college. I'd wanted a little more time to say goodbye to my dad and mom, and Edward wanted that extra year to make sure that he was ready to change me himself. That was of paramount importance to us both, but that didn't explain what had him so deep in thought. "Then what?"

"I was just thinking while you were asleep."

"About?" I encouraged and watched as he swallowed hard. "Edward?"

"Our wedding night," he answered somewhat hesitantly.

"We've talked about this, Edward. It's not important if it happens that night or months later, or whether I'm human or not." I took his face between my hands and kissed him firmly, and then gazed into his eyes. "Sharing that experience together, whenever it happens, is all that matters."

Edward's hand lowered to my hip and squeezed gently. "I know. I don't disagree with that."

"So, what's the problem?"

He drew in a long inhale and released it in a sigh. "Last night… just that touch, even with everything else going on around us…it was by far the most overwhelming experience I've ever had. I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to stay beside you all night. I wanted you so much, that for a moment, I didn't care about the Volturi or if I never made it through today. I thought I was going to lose control."

"But you didn't. I'm still here, completely intact in every way," I replied, shaking my head insistently. The intensity in Edward's gaze as I spoke was something I had never seen before, and I didn't know what to make of it.

"I know I didn't. And that's why this has been on my mind all night." Edward's hand lowered to my thigh and hitched my leg up to his hip, kissing me gently before whispering. "I still want to make love to you before your change. As a human."


	7. The Importance of Practicing

**A/N: Happy 10 years of Twilight everyone! Sorry for the delay in this chapter. As usual, time constraints and one of us being sick put the breaks on a bit. Thank you for your patience.**

* * *

 **Edward**

Never in my existence, since my transformation, did I think I would have a conversation with anyone about making love to a woman, let alone my _fiancée_. Companionship found with my family members were a given; though it took some time to form those bonds, allowing us to have deep, meaningful conversations.

Emmett shared too much information, despite the numerous times I informed him that I was quite aware of the mechanics of sex, thanks to my ability. Jasper, while a tad more subtle, had made me feel false desire in the beginning of our relationship as payback for my inability to turn off my power when he and Alice felt amorous. The women in our family knew better than to even attempt having a conversation of such a nature, since I would conveniently disappear if they tried, and Carlisle was merely curious and concerned for my well-being.

I felt particularly amorous myself once Bella calmed down enough to sleep. The little moaning sounds she made in her slumber stirred my perfect memory of the night before. I hadn't allowed myself to feel triumphant at the fact that I managed to maintain control during those glorious moments of skin to skin contact, or even with the thinnest of material as a barrier between me and her touch.

For so long, I had been afraid that any such actions between us would ignite the base instinct within me to claim my mate. I couldn't imagine my Bella's fragile little body being able to withstand what I had unwillingly been witness to with just my family. Their minds would become consumed in passion, losing awareness of everything around them. They never had to concern themselves with damaging anything more than furniture or maybe an occasional tree, and the path of destruction I had seen in the past conjured images in my head of what could happen to Bella if I lost myself completely.

All my worries had not been erased the night before, but I had at least been able to keep myself focused enough to avoid damaging her too severely. As she slept, while fitfully, I had noticed small bruises on her arm and thigh from where I had gripped her a little too tightly. Yet, she was still alive beneath me, so the successes had still outweighed the failures.

Now, if I could only get her to breathe again after my last statement.

Her eyes were wide, gazing back at me in obvious shock at what she had just heard. When I began to lift my body to lay beside her, it seemed to snap her back to the moment, and her hands rose to grip my shoulders firmly, holding me in place.

"I…how…what…" Bella stammered as she began collecting her thoughts, her beautiful eyes flickering over my face. "Where did that come from? Not that I'm complaining, because I really _would_ like to share that with you, but I would think it'd more likely be completely off the table now. There's so much else to think and worry about, more important than sex."

"Bella," I whispered, brushing a soft kiss on her lips. "Firstly, you need to understand that _you_ are always the most important thing in the world to me. And yes, I will not deny that the experience of it would be very pleasurable, at least for me, but it's not just about having sex."

Bella's eyes became more focused, losing the haze of confusion and surprise. "I know that, Edward. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, even last night, you were still so cautious about everything, and today, with our plans being set in fast forward, you're talking about having a real wedding night. When you were so unsure before with all the time in the world ahead of us, afraid that you would lose control and hurt me?"

"That aspect hasn't completely dissipated, by any means. Even with the amount of control I managed to keep last night, you weren't left completely unharmed." At her furrowed brow, I glided the silky material of her sleeve up her arm to reveal one of the bruises I'd notice the night before, which had darkened just a little. Her gaze fell to it as well and she sighed, shaking her head and grasping the front of my shirt. "I know that's minor compared to what _could_ have happened, with how spontaneous last night was, but _any_ harm to you is too much for me. Control isn't my primary concern, however, since that is something within my power to learn how to manage, with time."

Bella's gaze became curious again and I heard her heart begin to accelerate. "Okay, so you think that you might be able to manage enough control to make love to me on our wedding night?"

My reaction to hearing those words fall from her lips, in addition to the hint of a blush rising in her cheeks, caused me to roll onto the bed beside her, while still holding onto her hand. My need to pull away had less to do with my fear of hurting her than the way I had been positioned on her thigh. "I would like to hope so. If that was my only concern, I probably wouldn't have nearly as much to worry about, especially after last night."

Bella pulled the blanket around her and snuggled against my side, her head resting on my shoulder. "So, if it isn't control you're worried about, what is it that has you so concerned?"

"My venom. You know that's always been a concern of mine," I answered bluntly, and I felt her head rise to look at me. We had already learned that condoms could not stand against whatever level of venom I would emit during intercourse. "I would hate to unintentionally start your transformation shortly after we've made love. Any pleasure and euphoria from sharing myself with you would disappear the moment you felt the heat of the change."

"I'd be screaming for all the wrong reasons." Bella's eyes widened as she slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry. Here we are having a serious conversation, something that's slightly uncomfortable as it is, and I'm blurting out inappropriate innuendos. That was unedited Bella, by the way."

"It's nice to have a tiny glimpse into your mind from time to time," I kissed her fingers and shook my head. "But yes, we need to take this conversation seriously. It's too important. Your safety is vital to me."

She nodded, but quickly held up a finger. "Okay, so you're worried, not because you're afraid you're going to kill me, as far as your control, but because you can't guarantee you'll extract yourself in time." Her blushing at her words caused my own mind to spin with what she could be thinking, but in true Bella fashion, she didn't elaborate.

It was still as frustrating as when we first met.

"Yes. There are just more questions than answers at this point. If I can't extract myself in time, would it trigger your transformation? Hurt you in any way?" I swallowed hard at the quickening of her breath, a tinge of fear in her blood. "Questions that I am hoping Carlisle can answer."

Her brow tightened. "Are you asking if it's all right to discuss this with Carlisle? You know that's not necessary, not when it comes to the unknowns of our relationship."

I shrugged. "It's more that I wanted to make you aware that I intended to talk to him about it."

"Thank you for letting me know. So, is this something you plan to approach him with today?"

There was no missing the eagerness in her voice; the question was why? I knew she wouldn't give me an unedited answer that time.

"I suppose I should after I take you home." I groaned, tilting my head back further and flinging my arm over my eyes.

Bella shifted closer to my side, her hand on my chest as she leaned slightly over me. "What is it?"

"I know he's a doctor and could approach this clinically, and we've talked about this before, just not so in depth. However, he's still, in essence, my father."

A soft little huff of air emitted from Bella, and I uncovered my eyes to see her holding in her laughter. In an instant, I was transported to a memory of us in my car outside of her house as her father waited inside to discuss sex and "being careful" with her shortly after our relationship began. I hadn't warned her and remained close by to listen to the conversation, and it had taken considerable control to not laugh at her reaction after the initial discussion that Bella would rather strike from existence.

"You can laugh," I whispered, sighing when her adorable giggle shook her entire frame. She attempted to stifle it against my shirt, but I wanted to hear it after such a long week of worry, strain, and fear due to the Volturi visit.

I rolled and held myself over her, watching her eyes and laughter light up her entire face.

"Karma is definitely a woman," she said between her giggles.

Unable to resist the delightful sound, I used the tips of my fingers to tickle her sides to elicit more, warning her playfully to stop laughing or suffer the consequences.

Her arms wrapped around my neck, her warm lips hovering beside my ear. "That has some promise. We may not know what could happen yet, but until then, we should practice, practice-"

Too irresistible for her own good, I cut her off with a kiss. What was the saying? _Practice makes perfect._

.

.

.

I listened for the voices of my family as I drove up to the house after dropping off Bella at home. Thankful that it seemed to only be Esme and Carlisle inside, I reluctantly went over all the questions I had in mind to ask.

Esme hummed as she worked on a flower arrangement in the living room, offering me a smile after I asked if Carlisle planned to leave soon. "No, he's off until tomorrow, but on call."

"Thank you." Sensing the seriousness in my voice, she stopped and wiped her hands clean. _"I'm feeling peckish. I'll return in an hour, so please let Carlisle know."_

"I will." I started for the stairs, aware that Carlisle heard Esme leave as his thoughts entered my mind.

 _"I wonder if Bella remembered something else important during that dark period."_

My hand tightened around the stair railings, his concern crippling in a way I should have expected. He was our creator; he would feel responsible if the meeting with the Volturi had taken a turn for the worse. Changing me ultimately put us on the path to Bella, to that infinite moment under the influence of Alec's power where we didn't know if we would live or die.

"I don't regret you changing me, Carlisle," I said the moment I walked into his office. The relief in his posture and features was palpable, even without his thoughts broadcasting for me. "I was meant to find Bella, and I could never regret the events that brought us together."

Upon my return from Alaska the previous year, I never would have believed such a thing, much less said it. After everything Bella and I had been through, feeling the love and connection with her, I was finally at peace with it all. My transformation, falling in love with a human, and finding happiness at last—mostly.

He nodded and closed the file he'd been reading. "What can I do for you?"

I sat in the chair across from him, and despite all my preparation, the feeling of awkwardness reemerged, and I was once again unsure of how to broach the subject with him. So, I guessed there was no better way than as straight forward as I could manage. "Bella and I have been talking. This timescale that the Volturi has set for us turned our plans on their heads. Nothing will go as we intended, aside from the wedding, so we are trying to make the best of what time we have before Bella's transformation takes place."

Carlisle nodded slowly with his hands steepled in front of him. "I understand. So, what do you need from me?"

"Advice. Any information you might have." I sighed, leaning forward and rubbing my face harshly. _It shouldn't be this difficult. We've discussed this topic before._

"Edward, whatever you have to ask, I've likely heard before, or worse, in my profession," Carlisle reassured me, and I met his understanding gaze. "You can ask me anything."

I closed my eyes in an effort to center myself, trying to form the words I needed to speak. "It's concerning my intimate relationship with Bella. I no longer have the length of time I thought I would in order to experience everything I wanted to with her, while still ensuring her safety. And even with everything Alice and Jasper have tried, there still so many uncertainties."

I paused, and I could feel Carlisle's gaze on me for several seconds before he seemed to read the thoughts that I was having difficulty voicing. "But you still want to share those things with her."

Leaning my head back, I stared at the ceiling and nodded, feeling an ache rise in my chest. "Part of me feels like such a monster for almost wanting to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may, but I can't do that to her. Or us."

"And that proves just how much of a monster you are _not_ , Edward. Bella is still your top priority," he stated in an effort to comfort me, but I already knew the truth of his words, so I nodded. "So what information would you like?"

"You said that the reason the condom disintegrated was inconclusive because there were too many possible factors contributing to it. But do we know how potent the venom would be in an ejaculate, or even pre-ejaculate?" I asked, and I swore if it was possible for me to blush to any extent, my embarrassment would be clear as day. "I still want to make love to Bella before her change, but we've already come to the conclusion that the only way for her to be protected to any degree would be for me to withdraw from her. But what if I don't do so in time? Would it be significant enough to initiate her change, or is it possible that she would still be safe?"

Carlisle appeared pensive for a moment, nodding slowly in thought. "That's a very good question. There is only one way to know for sure."


	8. Tick Tock

**A/N: As usual, as the holiday season begins to sneak up on us, our time is very limited, and our schedules are near impossible to coordinate at the moment. But we are still trying to get this out to you all as quickly as possible. Thank you for your patience, and hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

 **Bella**

The hours since Edward had dropped me off seemed to take an eternity to tick by. When I'd first arrived home, I was hit with a flood of relief. I thought I would never walk through that door again, and there I was, curling up on my father's recliner. I even hugged my dad when he returned from his trip out to the reservation, which took him off-guard, and I tried to explain it away with "emotional female issues". Once I assured him that I was not pregnant, that I was still a virgin, _again_ , he questioned it no further.

However, when he got called out to an emergency at the station an hour later, and there was still no word from Edward, I felt my anxiety start to rise again. What did Carlisle have to say? Granted, getting to have a real wedding night with Edward wasn't a life or death crisis, as we had just endured, but it was something that the both of us deeply wanted.

What if it wasn't possible?

I paced the floor of my room, periodically checking my phone and gazing out the window—no Edward.

I jumped in the shower and came back out—no Edward.

By ten o'clock, I was really beginning to worry. My dad was still not home, and Edward was usually there by then. Was it wrong for me to want one single thing to go exactly as we wanted?

We had survived, yes—but with stipulations. _Nothing_ would be exactly as we had wanted.

I settled into the rocking chair and wrapped the blanket around me, willing myself not to cry, when I felt a small gust of cool air from behind me. My head spun, and there stood Edward just inside my window. I sprang from my seat and threw my arms around him, feeling his slowly slip around my waist.

His body felt somewhat stiff in my embrace, even when he whispered in my ear to ask me if I was okay and kissed my hair when I assured him that I was. I pulled back from him, and for a moment, he wouldn't meet my eyes. "Bad news?"

"No, not exactly," he replied and then tilted his head as if listening to something. "Where's Charlie?"

I explained the urgent call from the station, but that was all I knew, and his response of "good" totally threw me for a loop. "Okay, now I know something is wrong. Just tell me."

Edward shook his head and took my hand, leading me toward my bed. When he sat down on the edge, his hands gripped my waist and he rested his forehead against my abdomen for a moment before pulling me down to sit across his legs. "Nothing is _wrong_ , Bella. This conversation is just difficult enough without the thought in the back of my mind that my fiancée's father is right down the hall."

I ran his words through my head as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "So, nothing is 'wrong', but it's difficult enough to worry about my father being home? That doesn't exactly comfort me, Edward."

"You will understand in a moment. I just need to hold you for a couple of minutes first."

His arms secured around me, pulling my body as close to him as he could manage, and his cool forehead settled against my neck. For once, he did not immediately pull away when I shivered at the contact, and instead, I felt him press his lips to my chest, right above my heart.

After a few prolonged moments, I was starting to lose my mind a little, though. "Okay, I love you and I understand that this is not the easiest thing to talk about, but please just give me something. Or else I am going to be sitting here, running every single worst-case scenario through my head, as I have been doing all night, until you do."

A small smile touched Edward's lips and he lifted his head to look at me, bringing his hand to my face. "I am sorry to have worried you, love. I can assure you, it is likely _nothing_ that you've been imagining."

I nodded as he stroked my cheek lightly with his thumb and his gaze met mine. His eyes were slightly darkened, yet not enough for me to be concerned that something was dreadfully wrong. Therefore, I knew he was at least _mostly_ telling the truth. "So, what happened? What did Carlisle say?"

Edward cleared his throat nervously, his hand falling to clasp the other at my side, effectively locking me into his embrace. "He didn't have any answers. This isn't a topic that he's ever had any reason to look into more intently, and everything has been so inconclusive with the testing that involved Alice and Jasper. So, there's just no way to know without performing even more tests, but on me this time."

"What kind of tests?" I asked, my throat tightening. We had already agreed that neither of us would be okay with him sharing any part of himself with anyone else but me, so I knew it couldn't possibly be that. My mind conjured an image of some secret lab hidden away somewhere in the Cullen house, and Carlisle as a mad scientist, conducting experiments on my fiancé.

My brain really was exhausted.

"For once, I am not sure I want to know what's running through that mind of yours right now," Edward said with an expression on his face that seemed to be a cross between amused and worried.

I shook my head vehemently. "No, you really don't. I'm just on the borderline of delirious at this point. So, what tests?"

The discomfort returned to his features and he swallowed hard before continuing. "I need to supply him with a sample to determine the ratio of venom within it."

My breath was stolen from me for a few seconds and I couldn't take my eyes off him, while his gaze had lowered to my knees. "You mean…you have to…"

He groaned, hiding his face against my shoulder for a moment. "You don't have to say the words, Bella, but yes. That's exactly what I need to do."

Considering how uncomfortable he was with the subject of touching himself, I tried to keep my blush to a minimum. It wasn't all that shocking, to be honest; of course, it would be best to test Edward's… _sample_. However, images flooded my mind again, and that time, it wasn't something completely ridiculous—but it _was_ pretty hot and somewhat dirty. I shook my head in an attempt to dislodge them from my thoughts, as well as keep the effect it was having on me at bay. I had to push back the urge to fan my face. "And you haven't yet?" I didn't give him a chance to answer, rambling on, as usual. "Honestly, it's not necessary to tell me _everything_ ahead of time."

"That's not why I'm here, Bella, but no, I haven't. I need your help."

Just like that, my mouth went completely dry and I was having trouble swallowing. For several seconds, I tried to speak, but couldn't manage more than a few choked grunts. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to collect myself, and then finally looked at him again. "You need me to do it?"

Edward's eyes went wide, and he shook his head with a nervous laugh. "No, that's not what I mean. Even if I thought I was ready for more than we managed last night without hurting you in some way, I wouldn't ask you to do that."

"Edward, couples do it all the time for a multitude of reasons. It's nothing to be embarrassed about," I said, trying to ease his visibly mounting anxiety.

"It's not embarrassment, at least, not in the way you seem to think it is," Edward replied, and I could feel some of the tension release from his arms. "It's not necessarily that I would object to it at _some_ point in the future. But aside from the fact that this is all so clinical, and I'd have to collect it in a cup in front of you…"

There was nothing sexy about that image. "Okay, yeah. Point taken. I don't think I even want to envision that in my head, much less see it with my eyes."

"Exactly, but there's also the reason behind it all to consider as well." He paused, taking hold of my hand and staring at my engagement ring for a moment before threading our fingers together. "We don't know how much venom is present, and I can't risk any contact with your skin. The same logic applies here. If I don't pull away in time because I can't be sure how to anticipate it, we don't know what could happen."

"But that's with sex. I could understand not knowing what to expect there, since it's not something you have experience with. And with a lot of guys your 'age'." I paused, emphasizing the word with air quotes. "I know it can be pretty sudden and unexpected, especially the first time."

Edward laughed uncomfortably, shaking his head before bringing his eyes up to meet mine. "Do you honestly believe that intercourse is the only new experience for me?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "You can't seriously tell me that not even once in your life, especially in the last few months…"

He lifted an eyebrow at me, leaning back a little to gaze at me more fully. "Are you saying that you have?"

My mouth fell open in shock and I shook my head. "What? No, of course not!"

"So, what makes you assume that I have?" he asked with an amused chuckle.

"Well, first of all, you're a guy."

"That's pretty sexist," he said with a laugh, and I lightly slapped his shoulder, although it did feel good to have a little lightheartedness back between us.

"As I was saying," I began, and he pressed his lips together to stop chuckling, giving me his full attention again. "Even _you_ have to admit that guys, especially _teenage_ guys, are more prone to partake in those activities than girls are. And almost ninety years, not including your human life, is a _long_ time. And you're telling me, not even _once_?"

"Fair enough, but no, Bella. Not even once," Edward replied in an undeniably sincere tone.

"Wow. You must have the resolve of a damn saint."

"Not at all. For most of my existence, including my years as a human, there has been nothing to provoke that particular activity. Before my change, I was consumed by the war, and even if I wasn't, such a thing was not widely discussed, much less done in polite society. That still lingers in my subconscious to this day," Edward explained and then I felt his fingertips press more firmly into the back of my hand. "After the change, desire or arousal of any kind just wasn't something I ever experienced before I met you, so there was nothing to ever rectify in such a manner."

"So, I even gave you your first hard-on?" I asked in shock, and I couldn't even find it within myself to feel embarrassed.

It seemed neither could Edward, though he did shift slightly beneath me. "Yes, Bella, you were the first of many things for me."

Why did that sound so hot to me? _Forget fanning myself, I may need a cool shower._ _Damn, sexy Volvo owner._

I stood from his lap, but only to shift my body so that I was straddling his legs, and I brought my hands to his hair, toying with the ends. "So, what do you need me to do?"

"You're already doing it," Edward replied in barely above a whisper, though his tone was undoubtedly husky. "I need you to get me aroused. I tried just thinking about you and even some of the things we've done, but it wasn't enough, knowing what I had to do." He looked away shyly, biting his lip, a habit he'd picked up from me. "Performance anxiety, maybe. I'm sorry, but I need the distraction of you being here and touching me, so I don't think of the clinical aspect of it."

I brought my hands to his face and kissed him gently, as guilt began taking over his features. "There is _nothing_ to be sorry about, Edward. I'm going to be your wife. It's kinda my job to turn you on, isn't it?"

"It's supposed to be intimate, not clinical or a means of distraction to achieve an end."

I shifted closer to him as his hands splayed across my back and I brushed my lips on his jaw. "It's still intimate. This wouldn't work if it wasn't. Everything we share is special. No one has ever affected you this way before, and I can honestly say the same. Don't think about anything else. It's just you and me."

Edward gazed at me as I traced my fingertips along his cheek and then pulled myself closer to him until our bodies were flush against one another. "I love you."

The intensity in his eyes caused a shiver to run down my spine and I brought my lips to his, kissing him firmly. As he began to lean back, my arm circled around his shoulders while my other hand remained cupped along the side of his face.

"I'm letting you know now, as soon as I feel something and it's too much, I will need to leave immediately, and I won't be back tonight," he said quietly, and I nodded, whispering a soft "I know". As much as I didn't want to be alone, I knew it was necessary. I felt his hand glide from my thigh, up along my side and slip underneath the hem of my shirt, but I had another idea. There was one thing I noticed in the last few weeks, I had caught my fiancé checking out a particular part of me, likely thanks to the jeans Alice had slowly replaced in my wardrobe.

Placing my hand above his to slow his progress, shivering when his thumb brushed over my nipple. I shook my head before he could ask if there was something wrong, gently guiding his hand along my waist, toward my back, and onto my backside.

It was Edward that shivered then, his light groan against my shoulder sending cool sparks of fire down my chest. He took over then, his free hand coming up to squeeze my side for a moment before joining the other on my…ass. What I hadn't considered about having his hands there, cupping me, was my reaction. His fingers were so long, strong, and cool against the thin fabric of my cutoffs. I moaned against his temple, softly rocking my hips against his. In a seemingly effortless move in the next second, he shifted our bodies until I was lying on my back with him hovered above me. My lips parted as I met his obsidian gaze, and he whispered, "I love you."

Then he was gone.

I exhaled sharply, my hand on my chest as my heart beat rapidly in my chest. I'd call that progress, and although a part of me was stuck on the fact that Edward was out there doing what he had to do, I was in my room, wishing I could do the same. I wouldn't…yet. I could handle calming myself down.

.

.

.

After a few hours of restless sleep, I opened my eyes and reached over to check the time on my phone, surprised to find a text message from Edward.

 _I'm sorry, I will not be in school today. There is something I need to do. See you tonight. I love you._

My brow furrowed at the abrupt and vague tone of his text—what would he "need to do" that he couldn't just come out and tell me? It had been a long time since he'd been _that_ vague and cryptic with me, and I'd have been lying if I said I wasn't a little concerned. The rain was pelting against my window, so it wasn't the weather that was the problem. I opened the text again and began to reply.

 _Are you okay? Did something happen?_

I stood from the bed to gather my clothes for the day and my phone buzzed again on my nightstand. Opening it to read, I felt equal amounts of relief and worry, which didn't help matters any, to be honest.

 _Yes, I am okay. I will explain everything later. I promise._

My frustration was mounting, even as I typed out my reply of "okay, love you too". Aiding in that was the fact that I had spent a majority of the night trying to calm myself from our activities before he'd left, however brief. He wasn't the only one who'd become aroused, after all.

Once I'd gotten dressed for the day and a small breakfast of a banana with a glass of milk, I headed out to my truck. As much as I loved it, I would have rather been riding in the Volvo with Edward than trying to drive the old girl on the roads coated with freezing rain, and in my exhausted state at that.

My worry only increased when I got to school and noticed that Edward was not the only one that appeared to be skipping school today—Alice was nowhere to be seen, either. _No, that doesn't look odd at all_ , I thought sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I trudged toward homeroom.

It became apparent that I looked as tired as I felt from the concerned gazes of Angela and Mike throughout the day, as well as the eyerolls and snide remarks from Jessica and Lauren. Which prompted the three of us to sit at a separate table from them at lunch. With all I had on my mind, the last thing I needed was to deal with their immature vileness, and thankfully, the two I still considered good friends agreed. What surprised me even more was when Tyler, Ben and Eric also opted to sit with us rather than with Lauren and Jessica.

Angela, who was usually the quieter one of the group, was the first to vocalize her thoughts. "Bella, for someone who should be in the throes of newly engaged bliss, you've seemed pretty tense. Is everything okay with you and Edward?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. It's just a lot, you know?" I replied, forcing a small smile until I saw Angela biting her lip. "What's up?"

She glanced around the table, as I did as well, noticing everyone with similar, awkward expressions on their faces.

"All right, seriously, what's going on?"

Angela sighed heavily. "Okay, Bella, we want you to know that nothing Jessica or Lauren could say would ever be taken at face value by us. We're just worried about you. Since school started up again, you've seemed really stressed and tired, you don't have much of an appetite, and Edward has been even more protective of you than usual. And with your sudden engagement…"

"Oh my God." She didn't need to elaborate anymore. In fact, I had been expecting it to surface, and was actually surprised it took as long as it had to do so, with the gossip chain in such a small town. It didn't keep me from lowering my forehead to the table in frustration, though. "I knew they'd do this, but let's just stop the rumor mill right here. I'm not pregnant, nor will I be at any point before the wedding. Edward and I are waiting. And _no_ , that is not the reason for us getting married so young, either."

When I lifted my head again, the four guys appeared stunned, while Angela had a small smile tugging at her lips. "Well, I can't wait for that to blow up in their faces in a few months when you don't even have a pooch. Teach them a thing or two about being vindictive shrews."

They all began to chuckle, and surprisingly, I joined in. It was nice to know I had some genuine friends. "Thanks."

"And honestly, I don't blame you guys. If it were me, I'd probably get married the day after graduation to settle into living together before moving away to college. I mean, it will be a bit of a culture shock going from living with your dad, to suddenly having a husband _and_ starting school in a new place, wherever you actually end up," Angela said casually, taking a bite of her food, while Ben shifted nervously in his seat and turned to the other guys and started a conversation about sports.

Lunch had been a nice, albeit brief, reprieve from the strain I was under, and I was given a rest from the consuming thoughts about the meaning behind Edward's texts and absence from school. The rest of the day seemed to tick by slowly, and throughout each class, I was periodically checking the time on my phone, earning me more than a few reprimanding looks from my teachers. I couldn't help it, though; I was anxious.

When the final bell rang, I didn't even stop at my locker as I usually would to unload unnecessary books before heading home. I made a beeline across the parking lot toward my truck, having decided in my last period that I couldn't wait until tonight. _I need to talk to Edward_ _now_ _,_ I thought, and just as I did, my phone buzzed in my pocket with a text.

 _I'll see you in a few minutes. We need to talk._

No, that didn't seem ominous at all.

With that, I revved my truck to life and hurried out of the parking lot as quickly as I could manage.


	9. What Could Have Been

**A/N: It has been nearly impossible for us to coordinate our time with each other, so that is why this update has taken so long. We are still working on it though! Real life has just been demanding. Thanks for your patience, and Happy Valentine's Day everyone!**

 **Chapter 9 ~ What Could've Been**

 **Edward**

I could hear the familiar rumble of Bella's truck approaching, and if it were at all possible for me to feel more tense, it would have been at that moment. Being unsure of her reaction was only a small portion of the emotions raging through me.

 _Just be open and honest with her, Edward. Everything will be fine._

Alice's voice in my head as I paced only gave me a small modicum of relief. I was anxious to see Bella, especially with as long as the day had been, but feeling so uncertain was something that didn't sit well with me.

At last, silence fell as she came to a stop in front of the house, and I made my way to the door and pulled it open before she even fully ascended the steps. She looked up in surprise, but then hurried toward me until I engulfed her in my arms.

"Whatever it is, we'll get through it, Edward," Bella said in a comforting tone, her palms flattening against my back and pulling me firmly against her. "I'm totally okay with waiting, if that's what we have to do."

Her heart was racing wildly as she pulled back to look at me and then lifted onto her toes to press a kiss to my lips. I held her for a moment longer before I reached behind me to take her hand where it had halted all movement on my back. "Let's go upstairs."

Bella's brow tightened as she looked at me, and it held that way until we reach the top of the stairs, and then her eyes widened. "Were you not able to…finish, last night? You could've come back, you know."

I had to clear my throat, her pout too adorable for words, though her initial assumption did make me shift a little uncomfortably. "I managed it just fine, Bella. Carlisle has already examined the sample." I continued ushering her toward my room, and then closed the door behind us.

Bella could barely contain her anxiety as she lowered herself to sit on the edge of my bed, rubbing her palms against the fabric of her jeans. "Okay, so what's the verdict?"

I crossed the room to kneel in front of her, taking her hands and pressing a kiss to the backs of her fingers before meeting her eyes. "The good news is that the level of venom is low, and while we did find that it does contribute to the disintegration of a condom, the effect it would have on you would likely be minimal, if anything at all. It wouldn't trigger your transformation."

A smile broke across her face at first, but it faded quickly as she realized I wasn't finished. "All right, so what's the bad news? I would think you'd be a little happier about this. You said that was your biggest fear."

"It was," I told her honestly, my hands moving to settle on her hips. "And believe me, the knowledge that making love to you would have next to no chance of initiating your change was a huge relief to me. The bad news, however, is what else Carlisle observed. There was sperm present."

Bella blanched slightly and began to stammer in obvious shock. "Wait, what? Like…live, viable sperm? As in…"

"Yes, there is a possibility that I could impregnate you," I replied, shaking my head while she appeared to be processing what I had said. "At first, it appeared that they were dead, but as the sample warmed, there was motility, though still on the low side."

Tears formed in Bella's eyes, which was something I had not been expecting, and her hands covered mine where they had returned to her legs. "There's a possibility that we could have a baby?"

I wasn't sure what I had been anticipating in her reaction, but I felt my heart ache at how it actually materialized. I swore I could see a spark of hope in her eyes, and I hated that I would have to be the one to snatch it away from her. "That's why I didn't go to school today. I had to know."

I heard her swallow as my gaze had lowered to where my hands held hers again. "And that's the bad news, right?"

"There's no way to really be sure at this point. The little we've been able to find are mostly legends from Brazil, but we alone are proof that legends usually have a basis in reality." My reply caused her to shift slightly on the bed, and it was obvious that her nervousness was mounting. "Even if we had the time, I don't think I could take the chance."

Bella seem to deflate instantly—there was no time after our wedding. "What if…we don't wait for the wedding? I know your feelings on sex before marriage, and I respect that, but if we could have a baby, a part of you and me…we could put off my change until after I gave birth. A month or two isn't going to make that much of a difference, since it's already going to be a challenge as it is…"

"Bella, please," I stopped her, hearing the anguished strain in my own voice that caused her to cease immediately. "Even if there was any kind of guarantee that the pregnancy or baby would be completely normal, would you be prepared to be separated from our child for at least a year, or until you got your thirst under control to ensure the baby's safety?"

Bella's lip trembled as I spoke, and she looked down. "I wouldn't want to, no, but just the thought. I never allowed myself to imagine that."

I brought my hand to her face and stroked her cheek until she looked at me again. "Neither have I. And you have no idea how much I wish we could have that, but there are just so many unknown or terrifying factors."

"Like what?" Bella asked, sincerely inquiring. "This is a decision we should be making together, Edward."

I nodded. "I agree. I can only give you my reasons as to why it would not be worth it to me, if there was even a shred of fact in all I read today."

"Okay, but can you please come here and lay down with me while we talk? I've missed you today," Bella said, and I immediately complied, just as eager to feel her in my arms. Her fingers ran lightly over the front of my shirt as she nestled closer to me, and then she took a deep breath in to continue. "So, what are your reasons? And what did legends say?"

My arms circled around her securely as my lips ghosted over her forehead, preparing myself for what I needed to say. "There are stories dating back hundreds of years of human women being seduced by vampires and falling pregnant. That's something that can be found in nearly any culture around the world and some have been written off as a means to explain infidelity. But in Brazil, the stories are different. The pregnancies are brutal, fast-growing, and if the mother even makes it to term, none survive the birth. And in some cases, the child dies as well, but that's as far as the legends go. We don't know why, whether it's because the sperm has been altered by the venom or the transformation process itself, which makes the fetus not thrive in utero, or what the case may be. Nothing is known about the children beyond that point."

Bella's breathing was calculated and slow as she seemed to turn it all over in her mind, her eyes watching the paths of her fingertips on my chest. "So, for all we know, if the legends are even true, not only would I die, but it's possible that our baby might also?"

"It's possible, for any number of reasons. If these are more than just old stories, the cause behind the lack of information about the children could have one simple explanation. The Volturi."

Bella immediately froze at the mention of the name. "They would kill them."

"Most likely. If they had any knowledge of such a thing, they would view them as no different from immortal children," I began, watching her eyes narrow in confusion. "Children changed by bite, not by birth. It's another very strict law in our world, and even I was questionable at the time of my change because I wasn't quite full grown. But with immortal children, they are unpredictable and cannot control their thirst. So, creating one is a crime, punishable by death for both the child and the creator."

"And there would be no way of knowing if the child would be able to control its thirst, or even if it would have one, being part human as well," Bella said, appearing to be simply speaking her thoughts out loud, and then looked up to me again and paused. Her eyes flickered between mine, as if she could read the hesitation in my eyes. "There's more than just what the legends say, isn't there? Please, don't hide things from me, Edward."

I shook my head, feeling my brows draw together. "I'm not. I'm just getting to that. When I initially asked Carlisle about the possibility of the sperm he found being viable enough to give you a child, that one thought of having a family with you, Alice screamed."

"She had a vision of me dying?" Bella asked, shivering slightly, though it didn't appear that she was cold.

"No, so much worse. She couldn't see anything past our wedding night. Everything went black. We don't know why, because it wasn't due to anything we physically did. You made it through that just fine. But after that, nothing."

"So, we don't know if I would actually get pregnant or not, or how long I would last if I did." She uttered the painful words that were like daggers to my heart, but then said nothing else for several excruciating minutes. When she did resume speaking, she sounded miles away again. "No matter what, even if I did become pregnant and our child lived, I would die. I'd never see our son or daughter, but you would still have a part of me. When I think about it that way, it _would_ be worth it. I could give you something you never thought you would have."

I pinched my eyes closed and began shaking my head. "Bella, please no. I can't even imagine my world without you in it. Even to have a child, I would be sacrificing something just as precious to me."

I felt her hand touch my face, followed by her lips brushing mine. "I know there are women who would gladly sacrifice themselves to have a child with the man they love, but I don't know that I could be one of them. The idea of having your baby is incredible, and under any other circumstances, I'd say that anything would be worth it. I know your heart, Edward, and there is no doubt in my mind that, even if you lost me in childbirth, you would love our child. But you'd be slowly watching me die, no matter how long I was pregnant. Knowing what was coming in the end, it wouldn't be a joyful thing for either of us, and with the fact that there was a chance that you could lose our baby, too, be it naturally or at the hands of the Volturi, what would it be for? I can't hurt you like that, and I would want to be able to see and hold our son or daughter. To protect that baby as a mother should, and I wouldn't be here to do any of it. So, no, I can't say it would be worth it."

"I'm sorry, Bella. Truly, I am," I said, holding her to me and burying my face in her hair.

"I am, too. For just those few minutes, thinking we could possibly have that, it was amazing. But with no way of knowing for sure," she trailed off, reaching back to tug the comforter around herself, while breaking as little contact with me as possible.

"Technically, there is, but not fully," I said, and she brought her head back to look at me with wide eyes. "No, I am _definitely_ not thinking about trying it. More of a scientific approach."

"You mean, outside my body, right? Like a petri dish?" she asked, and I nodded, watching as she seemed to ponder it for a moment before answering. "You know what? I'm not sure I want to know, one way or another. I don't want to get my hopes up again for something that either might not happen at all, would kill me, or I'd live through it, but we don't have the time for our child to even be born, if it turned out to be a normal pregnancy. And with Alice's vision, or lack thereof, nothing can be certain."

I sighed deeply, holding her a bit tighter. "You're right. In a way, even conducting the experiment would feel like hope, but for it to only prove that it would kil—" I couldn't even finish, shuddering in her arms.

For several moments, neither of us said anything, only holding each other and tracing invisible words against the other's skin. I felt myself swallow, unable to curb my runaway imagination that had only grown since Bella brought color back into my life.

"She would've had your eyes," I whispered, and she tightened her hold, nodding against my chest.

" _He_ would've had your crazy hair." Her hand tugged gently at the strands along with her words, and she giggled half-heartedly when I playfully growled.

"And your laugh."

Her tears nearly broke me. "He or she would've been beautiful."

I nodded and rolled onto my back, bringing her with me. Tears continued to fall for a while as I hummed her lullaby, with a new wistful tenor to it. My hands ran up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her heartache. "He or she would've been loved."

Once her breathing quieted and the tears dried, I decided a distraction was needed. "There was something we did learn while we researched the legends. I confirmed it with my cousins, too."

"Cousins?" She knew of our extended family in Alaska, and to avoid any awkwardness during our wedding, I told her about the strange relationship I'd had with one of the sisters. "What could you possibly discuss with a succubus, who, in essence, _forces_ you to see what she wants from you?"

Her tone told me everything that her mind could not. In Bella's eyes, when Tanya, or others like her, forced their desires upon my mind, knowing I had no control of what I read from the thoughts around me, it was a form of assault. In addition to the fact that it was usually sexual in nature in the past, it only made it worse. I understood her discomfort with the situation but informed her that Tanya or her sisters would never attempt to come between mates, and they were aware I'd found mine in Bella.

She sat up on my stomach, making me quite aware of how close she was to my hips. However, I was too distracted by her anger, which threatened to get out of control. The memory of that awkward conversation about Tanya and her sisters reminded me that Bella had quite the temper about certain situations.

I sat up, mostly to comfort her, but to also lessen the chances of reacting to her position and anger. She wasn't quite aware of how seeing her stand up for me or herself affected me. Yet, with the addition of the flush of her skin and the perfume of adrenaline in her blood, it made her irresistible in more ways than one.

"Isabella Swan," I whispered, cradling her face in my hands. "I love you and only you. I needed information, that was it. I didn't even talk to her, but to Kate."

She exhaled sharply and nodded. "Okay, what about?"

"There was quite of few mentions in our research that venom can't be absorbed through skin. There would just be some numbing or burning, the accounts are unclear on which, if left on the skin for too long."

"All right, so if that 'method' is our only option later, I'll be safe as long as you wipe it away shortly afterward."

I felt the same way about the vulgar description of "pulling out", and "method" seemed a good way to put us both at ease when we used it for such discussions.

"There was also accounts that when _consumed_ in small doses it does not initiate the change." I let that sink in for a moment, before continuing. "Something about stomach acids. Carlisle collected some samples from the hospital morgue and was able to determine it was possible."

Her breathing hitched. "And by 'it' you mean, kissing? _Really_ kissing?"

"We would still have to be cautious because of my teeth, but yes, it appears that we can _really kiss."_

Her cheeks bloomed lightly with color, making me smile. It was so much better to see than the tears from earlier. She tucked her chin down, unable to look at me, but her shyness didn't last long. She squared her shoulders and smiled. "I need a human moment." She shot off the bed, grabbed her backpack, and ran into my bathroom.

Confused and shocked that she hadn't tripped, I laughed. "That's not exactly the response I was expecting."

Anticipation began to stir within me. Kissing her in such a way was something I had yearned to do for so long, but would not risk her safety, simply to sate my own desires. Yet, knowing that it was possible with little risk of any harm to her whatsoever, the ache for it was burning inside me. I chuckled when I heard the water running in the bathroom and the sounds of Bella hurriedly brushing her teeth. Carlisle reminded me from his office to rinse my mouth as well, to minimize any chances of burning or numbing. I ran down to another bathroom to do as he'd suggested and, on the way back to my room, I did my best to swallow every bit of venom I could from my mouth and continued to do so as I waited for her to return.

She was giving herself a little pep talk that was undeniably cute and indicated that we were both on the same page. Excited at the prospect of exploring something we thought we had to avoid until her transformation. As it was with me, it was something she had wanted since our first kiss. Though chaste, it made me feel things I had thought were dormant, and it had awoken in her something she'd never felt before.

The door to the bathroom opened a crack, her eyes widening when she realized I was standing halfway between the bed and her. For our first real kiss, I knew lying on the bed could make it short-lived, and I wanted the moment to last as long as we could manage.

Having heard the rest of my family, all nosily awaiting it, made me cringe. I held up a finger to my lips to stop her from saying anything and grabbed her jacket, helping her into it. "Hold on, love."

I quickly pulled her onto my back and jumped out my bedroom window, into the tall pine that towered overhead. Her initial gasp soon gave way to giggles, delighting me further as we ascended more and continued across the treetops until we were a good distance away from the house. Even their thoughts were a distant hum to me, so I knew we had about as much privacy as possible.

Bella climbed off my back once we'd come to a stop, and my arms steadied her on the limb until she leaned back against the trunk, gazing up at me. Swallowing once more, I ran the backs of my fingers along her cheek as I began closing the distance between us. She remained perfectly still as I gently brushed my lips on hers as I had done hundreds of times, allowing me a moment to fully give in to something so simple that I hadn't thought possible for months to come.

Finally, I allowed my tongue to swipe along her bottom lip. After giving it a moment with no contact, I asked, "Are you okay?"

Bella's eyes opened to meet mine, catching my questioning gaze, and nodded with a smile. "I'm fine. No burning or numbing."

My hands braced the tree behind her and I moved closer again, my lips a millimeter away from hers as I whispered, "I love you."

"And I love you," Bella responded before our lips touched again, and that time, so did the tips of our tongues.

The feeling was indescribable, and I quickly had to swallow again as a sudden surge of desire charged through me. As our kisses gradually deepened, I swore I felt my entire body pulse with want for her, and her soft whimper at the gliding of my tongue along hers only intensified that sensation. She was fire, the heat of it seeping into my bones.

Eventually, her hands came to my chest and she broke our kiss, her breaths heavy. "There's just a little tingling now, like it's about to go numb."

I rested my forehead against hers and felt her hands move along my sides. "Thank you for being honest and telling me."

"I always will be, Edward," she replied, and we gazed at each other for a moment before she added, "Forever."


	10. Change of Plans

A/N: Since it has been so long since our last update, a brief summary:

Where we last left off, despite discovering that it would be _possible_ for Edward and Bella to have a child together, because of too many risk and unknown factors, in addition to the danger it would pose due to the Volturi, they decided together that it would not be worth the risk to them, their families, and of course, the child as well. But on the positive side, they also found out that Edward's venom posed no risk to her if ingested in small amounts. So as long as they are careful, they can properly kiss, which they experience for the first time.

* * *

Chapter 10 ~Change of Plans

Bella

I could not deny that there would always be a twinge of sadness in my heart, knowing of the possibility that Edward and I could have had a child, despite the risks. Yet, I also had to admit that, even with the difficulty of the topic, Edward hadn't kept it from me. He'd been completely open and honest, and we had talked it out in a moderately rational way. There were tears, anguish and pain for something that could've been, but we got through it together, as partners. By the end of the night, I knew we had made the best decision for _us_. Everything we had been fighting for all that time, the threat and confrontation with the Volturi that we had barely made it through, would have been for nothing if Edward lost me in the end. With the additional knowledge that he could possibly lose our son or daughter as well, and the likelihood that he could also be seen as a "creator" of the child and be destroyed, _everything_ would be for naught.

However, something wonderful had come out of an otherwise grim discovery. Had it not been for the research that ended one prospect in our future, a light would have never been cast upon another—that the contact of venom to skin would not trigger the change, as it was not absorbed through the tissue, as well as not being a risk if, on the off chance, I accidentally ingested a small amount. Which prompted the most passionate, phenomenal kiss that Edward had ever dared to initiate with me, one that I hated to end, with how long I had wanted it. Yet, we had a _lot_ of time, if all went as we hoped.

Still, there was one more thing I wanted to discuss with him in the relative privacy of the treetops, where we still gazed out over the wide river that stretched out for miles below us.

"Edward," I spoke softly, and he hummed his response against my hair as he kept me braced safely in his arms. "I was talking to Angela a little today, about the wedding."

"All right," he replied, his tone obviously urging me to continue. Suddenly, I was nervous again, and I couldn't explain why, and I began tracing abstract patterns on his arm with my fingertip. "What about it?"

"I was just wondering…what would you think about moving it up just a little?"

I felt his lips ghost across my temple as he hummed in thought, not answering me for a moment before he finally spoke. "May I ask why?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, which obviously didn't comfort Edward much, so I continued my thought. "It's going to be hard leaving my dad and my mom, no matter how long or brief of a time we wait, but I know they will be taken care of. Angela said that if she was in my shoes, she would get married right after graduation to adjust to life with her husband before starting with school, and it got me thinking."

Edward watched me with intent eyes as I shifted cautiously to sit on one of the branches in order to face him, anchoring my arm around his neck and taking care not to look straight down, while his secured around my back. "It got you thinking about what?"

"Obviously, we don't have quite the same concerns as the average couple, and I know having time to prepare for our wedding night is important, but I believe we will be able to have that whenever we get married," I started, my eyes remaining locked with his. "Our first several months of marriage are going to be tough, trying to prepare as best as we can for my presentation to the Volturi. I would like to have a little time, maybe two weeks for a honeymoon, before we have to delve into that, and as much time to prepare for Italy as possible. While still not sacrificing every second of our time as newlyweds stressed over it. I know we could have a _very_ long time for all the good things, but we're only getting married for the first time _once_ , if we ever feel the need to do it again at all, like Carlisle and Esme, or Jasper and Alice. This time should be special."

Edward's brow displayed concern as I spoke, and I felt his arm glide just a little further around me. "I want to marry you more than you could ever know, and having time to enjoy just being married to you is important, but stealing that time away from everyone, especially Charlie…"

I shook my head and brought my free hand to his lips. "Just as in the past week, it's not about the quantity of time, but the quality. There are two memories I want to make sure I give my dad before I have to leave him—watching me graduate and walking me down the aisle. Those are the most precious things I can give him, and they will always stand out in his mind. And with a longer honeymoon, I can send him pictures and videos of me as a blissful newlywed, so he'll always remember how happy he made me by giving us his blessing."

I could see the conflict in Edward's eyes—he didn't want to take more time away from my dad than he would already be losing, but even he couldn't deny that the logic was sound. "So, how soon after graduation are you thinking?"

"Maybe closer to your birthday. Then, somewhere tropical might be really nice for our honeymoon, and you might even convince me to wear a bikini," I teased, nudging his leg gently with mine, and that bashful smile of his that I'd fallen in love with all those months before finally made an appearance. "I love you, and I want to give myself as much of a fighting chance to protect you as I can, in addition to being able to enjoy the simple pleasure of being your wife."

"I believe that is manageable, especially if Alice has anything to do with it, but I already know where I'm taking you for our honeymoon."

"What, I don't get a say?" I challenged, raising my eyebrow at him. "And Alice is _not_ going to be allowed to go overboard on this. I want something simple and elegant."

"We'll rein her in as much as we can, love," Edward replied with a smile, his hand coming to rest on my thigh and running gently up to my hip, drawing him closer to me. "And it's not so much that you don't have a say as that it is a surprise, as well as being secluded enough for some true privacy. So that we don't have to worry too much about onlookers if we happen to be outside during the day, or any other activities we partake in, and close enough to tourist spots that we'd only need a short boat ride to reach them."

"Sounds kinda perfect, actually. I'll trust you on this."

"Good. Now climb onto my back and trust me to get you to the house before you freeze up here."

.

.

.

The conversation that I believed would be the hardest was actually so simple, I nearly checked my father's forehead for a fever.

Edward and I sat down together with Dad the following week and explained our reasons for setting our wedding date in June rather than closer to the end of the summer. I expected more suspicion on the rush down the aisle, as most fathers, including my own in the past, would exhibit. So, when he'd quietly sat there, deep in thought for a couple of minutes, I braced myself for either a police style session of twenty questions or the silent treatment, assuming that I'd been lying about my virginity status.

"That is actually a very logical plan," my dad said suddenly, lifting his gaze to look between us. "Marriage is a tricky enough thing to adjust to on its own without trying to tackle a multitude of life changes all at once, especially at your age. I still think eighteen is a little young, but I understand. Just promise me that you'll remember that you have your whole lives ahead of you, and there is no need to rush into it _all_ right away, okay?"

My mother, on the other hand—a handful was an understatement.

"Isabella Marie Swan, what on earth are you thinking?" she exclaimed through the phone during our call the following evening. "You're too young for this. Give it some time."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead as Edward's hands rested on my shoulders, massaging gently. "Mom, you knew this was coming. A wedding date usually follows a proposal, and you seemed okay with that."

"Bella, it hasn't even been a month yet, and you are eighteen years old. Live your life a little first. Go to college, have some fun. I'm not saying don't be with Edward, but marriage is a huge step that, while it's easy to get swept up in the romanticism of it, is not easy once that fades. And I would hate to see you regret not having taken this time to be young."

I shook my head slowly while leaning back against Edward's chest. I understood where she was coming from to a degree. She and my dad had married very young, for all the wrong reasons. While neither of them ever made me think or feel as if _I_ were a mistake, their marriage ultimately _had_ been—but that was _them_. "I understand that, but you've always said that I've never really been or thought young. Marriage itself doesn't keep anyone from experiencing any of those things, and we won't do anything any differently just because we're married."

"Then, what's the rush, baby? You can still live together and have each other there, for years, if need be. Then you know you can co-exist without something so binding, and before children come along."

"Okay, first of all, kids are nowhere in our plans at this point, and we are going to be taking all the precautions we can to prevent it," I said, attempting to keep my voice level as I brought my free hand to clasp Edward's on my shoulder. If only she knew how truthful I was actually being. While I had come to terms with and accepted our circumstances, I still felt a slight tug on my heart. I doubted there would ever come a time where I wouldn't think "what if", despite our reasons and logic behind it all. "And this isn't just something that we impulsively decided in the heat of a romantic notion. I never make decisions like that, and you know it. We've talked this out at length, and this is what we want, and what will make us happy. It might sound old fashioned, but neither Edward or I feel comfortable just 'living together'. We deeply love each other, and I would at least like to have your understanding if I can't have your approval."

My mother was silent for a moment before I heard her sigh. "Of course, I understand, Bella. I remember what it's like to be young and in love. I only wish you would take a little more time to experience life, that's all. You haven't even been in Forks for a full year yet. I know you love Edward. That was clear as day over the summer, as was how much he loves you. I also know that your first love is not necessarily your last."

The tone of her voice took me by surprise. I'd never heard her sound so sad when talking about my father, even as vaguely as she was speaking of him in that moment. To be honest, I would have been less shocked if she told me that she'd sprouted a second head. I knew she meant well, coming from a stance of experience, and I respected that. Besides, she had no way of knowing how much of a teenage crush our relationship _wasn't_. "He's it for me, Mom. Anything I want to do in life, I want Edward there, experiencing it with me." I paused, swallowing hard as I prepared myself to be completely dishonest with my mom for the first time in my life. "I'm gonna graduate, go to college, and have my boring nine-to-five job for a while before we even start thinking about more than that. It's not like I'm going to be missing out on wild college parties that I wouldn't go to even if I'd never met Edward. My life is going to be good."

My mom sniffled with a small laugh. "You're right. I always _have_ said that you were pretty much born an adult. You're more mature now than I was at _thirty_. I just want you to be happy, baby."

With tears in my eyes, I glanced back at Edward and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I am. Happier than I've ever been, and I need _both_ my parents there with me when I get married. I know baseball season is in full swing in June, but please say you'll be there."

"Bella, do you honestly think I would miss out on my baby getting married? Of course, I'll be there. I'll just fly in for graduation and book a hotel room until after the wedding. I'm sure Phil can manage without me for a few weeks," she replied with a chuckle, and I couldn't help but join in—we _both_ knew that it was Phil who took care of _her_.

"Thank you, Mom. I love you," I said softly, clutching the phone to my ear.

"I love you, too, sweetie."

We said our goodbyes and I ended the call, setting my phone on my bedside table. Edward sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled me down into his lap, and I rested my head on his shoulder as his arms circled around me.

"You weren't lying, you know," he said suddenly as I was lost in thought, and I brought my gaze up to him. "While it won't happen as immediately as we are telling people now, you'll have all those things someday, if you want them. College, a 'boring nine-to-five', anything. Whatever will make you happy that I can give, it'll be yours."

I smiled, stroking his cheek with my hand. "And my life will be good, even once my heart stops beating. I'll know that my family and friends are safe, as much as I'll miss them, and I'll have you. Anything else is secondary and inconsequential in comparison. I've just never felt like I had to be so deceptive with my mom, not even when I told her I wanted to move to Forks."

Edward gracefully pulled me back with him as he lay down on my bed, wrapping a blanket around me before cradling me against his chest. "I know, and a part of me will always hate that you have to, just to be with me."

"Nothing in life comes without sacrifice, some things more than others. Just promise me that you won't let me forget all the _good_ things," I implored, pressing my body closer to his side. One thing that had been nagging at me for a while was something Edward had told me once—that he didn't remember much from the months before his transformation, and even the things prior to that were hazy at best, for the most part. There was no way to be certain of the reason why—whether it was his illness just prior, something occurring during the change itself, or another factor entirely. Leaving my parents was hard enough, despite the necessity; I didn't want to lose my memories of them, too.

Edward's lips pressed to my forehead and he hugged me just a little tighter. "I won't. I promise."

"I can tell you one thing I'm _not_ going to miss," I stated, desperate to change the morose topic, and found an opportunity when I shivered. "Is not being able to properly snuggle with you without a barricade of blankets."

I felt his cool breath against my skin as he gave a soft chuckle at my small pout. "I have to admit, that is one of the few things I will not miss as well."


	11. Our Decision

**A/N: Finally, an update! As much as we try to coordinate our time, daily life lately seems to be a constant obstacle. Our apologies.**

 **Summary of last chapter: With the decision made to not try to have a baby together because of the dangers, Bella discussed with Edward about the possibility of moving up their wedding. Aside from giving them more time to prepare for the presentation of Bella to the Volturi, as well as developing her gift after her transformation, it would give them a little time just to enjoy being married and have a honeymoon. While Charlie was supportive of the idea of them acclimating to marriage before adding college life on top of it, Renee had reservations, due to her own experience with marrying young. Both of them ultimately give their blessing for the earlier wedding date, set around Edward's birthday, rather than August.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11 ~ Our Decision**

 **Edward**

As promised, I gave Alice implicit instructions that she was not to go overboard with her ideas for the wedding, determined to give Bella the day that _she_ wanted. I felt very fortunate to have the full support from the remainder of my family, including Jasper, and even more surprisingly, Rosalie, who had been extremely withdrawn since Carlisle's discovery. After the discussion between me and Bella, however, she'd grown even more sullen.

We all knew that the one thing Rosalie had wanted in her human life was a child, and that it was what she'd harbored the most pain over with her transformation. Now, not only were Bella and I firmly deciding against it, despite the possibility, due to the astronomical risk factors, there was a chance that Emmett could also have viable sperm that her body could do _nothing_ with. She retreated to her room, and I could hear her on her laptop at all hours, typing away and seeking even the slightest hint of information that disputed the danger. When she couldn't find anything, she even went to Carlisle to ask about the possibility of removing all venom from my semen and artificially inseminating Bella.

Her inquiry angered me to the point that I had to step outside the house before I did or said something I would eternally regret. Bella and I already had the discussion and made a decision that was best for _us_ , and that had been difficult as it was. I had also been feeling hopeful in the development in Rosalie's relationship with Bella of late, proving that it was possible for my sister to not be entirely selfish—and then she had to pull a stunt like that.

Carlisle, to his credit, was able to maintain his infinite patience with her, despite his disappointment in her lack of respect for our wishes and decision. "Rosalie, it would not make any difference. The trace amount of venom at this point would not have any effect one way or the other on a possible fertilization. The cells themselves have been genetically altered, as all others in our bodies were at the time of transformation. As we've found that venom only takes effect when directly injected into the blood, that only leaves one explanation behind the lethal results of such a pregnancy—the genetic mutation of the sperm itself making the fetus incompatible with a human body. I have to say that I agree with Edward and Bella's decision. Put yourself in their shoes. Could _you_ voluntarily sacrifice your mate, or allow him to sacrifice you, for such a thing? Regardless of how much you would want a child under normal circumstances?"

Rosalie sighed and bowed her head, lowering her eyes to the floor, but did not answer.

"All right, then let me ask you this. After what we just experienced, and barely made it through, with the Volturi, could you put an innocent child through that, whether you survived the pregnancy or not?" he asked with a slight edge tinging his voice. To hear Carlisle even losing a modicum of his patience was rare, and more than surprising. "No matter how many precautions are taken or what the outcome would be, that child would be half vampire. There is no way of knowing what kind of control, if any, such a being would possess, and the Volturi would not waste any time in order to find out. At the _very_ least, the baby would be destroyed immediately. Could you live with that?"

Bella's hand suddenly came to rest on my arm, surprising me. I had been focusing my eyes so hard on the woods, trying to keep myself from storming upstairs and screaming at Rosalie, I hadn't heard her approach me. My gaze moved sharply over to hers, but I found myself instantly relaxing as her fingers traced lightly along my jaw. While she couldn't hear exactly what was being said upstairs, she could grasp the overall gist from the tension even emanating from Alice. Her eyes were speaking volumes as they held mine, and she spoke loud enough for all to hear. "May I speak with Rosalie alone, please?"

I looked at Bella in concern. "You haven't changed your mind, have you?" If my heart had the ability to beat, it would have been erratic and on the verge of seizing. What would I do if she asked me to give her a child? We'd discussed the matter in depth; even envisioned of what our child would've been like. She cried for what felt like an eternity in my arms that night, so I knew the likelihood that she would change her mind was slim, knowing all the possible consequences. Yet, it was the look in her eyes that answered the question for me. "Never mind, I know you wouldn't."

She offered me a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand, returning inside and walking toward the dining room table that was strewn with wedding invitation samples and magazines.

Alice huffed, having spent the last hour narrowing down colors for the wedding. Then, her eyes widened, and she caught Bella's arm before she could pass. She wrote something down in her wedding planner binder, tore out the sheet of paper and slid it toward her along the table.

 _It'll help, Bella. Thank you._

Confused, I looked at Alice as she walked outside toward me, having not seen whatever Bella had in mind to discuss with Rosalie.

"Come along, brother of mine. I need some help in the attic." She waited and took my elbow when I didn't comply fast enough for her.

I looked at Bella once more as Alice guided me to the stairs, wary of the determination on her face. She was tenacious when her mind was set on something. For some reason, she wanted to talk to my sister, who was willing to sacrifice Bella for her own selfish reason; all to raise a child. Without a look back, she walked into the living room and headed toward the floor to ceiling window that overlooked the backyard.

I slowed my steps on the stairs the moment Rosalie stood at the top of them. She rolled her eyes at the look of warning I gave her as I followed Alice up. The only good thing was that she wasn't happy about talking to Bella, either, but she was hiding her thoughts from me quite effectively by going over the last decade of fashion. Alice had to have taught her that; a trick she'd developed in order to keep me out of wedding dress discussions she'd had with Bella.

"There's nothing to worry about. They need to come to an understanding if we plan to play house for the next century." She hummed suddenly, giving me a tiny glimpse into Bella's future; my fiancée's smile bright under the Paris lights and Eiffel Tower.

Once again, the future didn't look so lonely.

Alice squealed as she hugged my arm due to my own smile, tugging me toward the attic where some of her fashion magazines and books were waiting to be unearthed once again.

"Why are we digging through the boxes?"

Alice gave in after realizing I was on the verge of heading back downstairs. "Bella wants something a little more old-fashioned for the entire wedding party, but that's all you're getting from me." She motioned zipping her lips, locking them, and throwing away the key.

"If only that were really possible." I avoided a small, but heavy box she threw at me, catching it one-handed before the contents shattered. We both quieted when Bella spoke up for the first time downstairs.

"Rosalie."

"What do you want?"

Bella sighed. "I understand where you're coming from, but can you look at this from another perspective than your own."

"It's a little baby. You know it's the one thing I would give anything to have."

"Yes, we're all aware of that." I heard Bella's hands fall harshly to her sides, striking her thighs—she really was as frustrated as I was. "Yet, _you_ know that we've made our decision, and it was not one that we did so lightly. Everyone was home, including you. You heard me cry for hours for the daughter or son I'll never have with Edward, and if it was possible, he'd have been crying, too. It breaks our hearts, but we made the decision together."

"You made a rush decision when you don't have all the facts."

"You're right, we don't. There's no way of knowing every possibility, no matter how many tests are done or how much it's dissected scientifically. Even if, somehow, we found out next week that I could have a child safely, the decision would still stand."

"Why?"

"Because we've had a ticking clock set on us, Rosalie. I would have to get pregnant _now,_ just to ensure that I would give birth before I would have to be changed. Then, I would have no chance of successfully making it to Italy. Why are we sitting here, planning a bumped-up wedding date to begin with? As much as I may want to marry Edward, just those couple of months could be the difference between success and failure when it comes time for me to be presented to the Volturi. To protect Edward. I can't begin working on a gift I don't fully have yet, if it will even happen at all. And in doing this, I'm already sacrificing more time with my mother and father. If I were to become pregnant, I'd lose even more time. Everything would have to change, and we'd also be forced to live life on the run."

"You don't know that."

Bella groaned in exasperation, and I heard her draw in a breath to calm herself before she continued speaking. "If the Volturi even got the slightest wind that I was pregnant, what do you think would happen? Even if I tried to say that it was someone else's child because I wanted to have a baby, Aro would only have to touch Edward for a split second to know that I was lying. And say we managed to somehow outwit them, and we had the baby, whether I made it through it or not. Our child would still be half vampire, and that is not something they would ignore. Is it really worth it to have a baby, only to lose him or her to the Volturi? Not only would we risk our child's life, as well as our own, but all of you."

"But it's a baby." The quiver in Rosalie's voice caused everyone in the house to still. She sounded so unsure for the first time in years.

"I'm sorry. We can't take the risk."

Rosalie started to protest, but something Bella did seemed to have stopped her. How Rosalie continued to keep me from watching from her perspective, I would never understand. Her determination to have some semblance of privacy was unmatched by any other member of my family.

"Everything you say from here on out would feel like you're trying to force me to do something I don't want to do."

"I would never force you…" Rosalie whimpered under her breath.

"We've made our decision. _I've_ made my choice. It's my body and my life that would have been potentially on the line, at the very least, and I'm asking you to respect that."

"I do, and I understand. I wasn't going to ask, but I wanted to be sure." Rosalie cleared her throat. "I wish things were different for me. I thought a baby would help ease that pain."

Finally, her mind opened and allowed me to see Bella from her eyes. Sunlight poured from behind my fiancée, casting her in the shadows, except for her eyes. Rosalie imagined a baby girl with my unusual hair color and Bella's big, brown eyes. She would've spoiled her.

"I love Emmett so much, and though he makes me happy, a part of me aches to know that he could be a father, but I could never be the one to give him a child."

Bella appeared shocked. "What do you mean Emmett could?"

"Apparently male vampires are viable for decades, possibly centuries if the stories I read are true." Her chuckle was dark and thick with emotion. "How fair is that? Our nature made females sterile, but the males are not." The anger dissipated just as quickly as it started. "It doesn't matter anyway. Nothing I found has ended with the mother surviving, just as Edward and Carlisle discovered. It's so much worse than that, because it seems that the baby consumes the mother from the inside." She shook her head, her hands settling on her stomach. "How could I ask someone to sacrifice themselves for my own selfish desire?"

Emmett appeared at entrance, calling her name. Rosalie turned into his awaiting arms, her broken sob stifled against his sweater, but the words, "I'm sorry" were clear as he led her out of the house.

Bella called for me and fell into my embrace the second I stood before her. "I know we made the right decision, but it still hurts."

"It does." I carried her up to my room and allowed her to rest for a while.

.

.

.

It had been a week since Rosalie and Emmett left for Alaska for some time away. Wedding planning and faux college preparations were in full swing. Bella spent some time teaching her father to cook a few easy meals for himself, and though he seemed reluctant, the lessons were the highlight of his day.

I placed a stamp on some college applications with late admissions in her kitchen while Bella gave her father a lesson about a healthier version of chicken stir-fry. It smelled awful to me, but the scents seemed to make Charlie's mouth water—a good sign from the steak and potatoes man.

"Be honest, Bells, why are you teaching me to cook?"

I stilled my writing and waited for Bella's answer. Would she get choked up and lie to him?

Bella giggled instead, surprising us. "Your perpetual bachelorhood has me worried, and to be honest, the way to a woman's heart is a homemade meal." She turned from the stove and looked at me. "Isn't that right, Edward?"

I offered her a smile. "You did love my chicken alfredo."

Charlie grumbled, his entire face and ears heating. "I'm a ladies' man, Bella."

Bella giggled again and hugged her father's side. "Ha! That sweet lady at the diner the other night totally flirted, and you had no idea."

"For the last time, she was not flirting. She was just being polite."

I was nearby at the time, and even if I hadn't been able to hear the mildly lustful musings the woman had about our dear police chief, I still would have completely agreed with Bella's assessment.

Her demeanor shifted slightly as she moved the food around the pan with the wooden spoon, taking on a more serious stance. "Love life discussions aside, I want you to be able to take better care of yourself than you did before I moved here. I'm going to be married and off at school, and you're too young to be clogging up your arteries with all that diner food. You're going to live to be a _very_ old man, if I have any say in it."

Well, she still wasn't lying to him, even if I could hear the slight lilt in her voice from the barely concealed sadness.

Charlie's arm circled around her shoulders in a surprisingly affectionate gesture, giving her a gentle nudge toward him. "Bella, you don't need to worry so much. I'm gonna be around for a long time, and as much as I'll miss you, I promise I won't fall into a mid-life crisis with empty nest syndrome."

Once he'd pulled away to set the table, I stood as he retrieved three plates from the cupboard. "Actually, I won't be joining you tonight. I promised my mother I would be home for dinner, and I still need to drop these in the mail. So, I will be heading out."

I made my way over to Bella, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek and whispering that I would be back soon, and she gave a barely perceptible nod. "Good night, Edward."

Before exiting the kitchen, I glanced back to see her managing a smile and mouthing "I love you". I responded in kind, and then continued toward the door.

I knew that the upcoming changes would never be _easy_ for her, but she was managing them with as much grace as could be expected.


	12. Drops on the Floor

**A/N: Another visit to Phoenix is almost over for Erica *sadface*, so we decided to post another update while we are able to coordinate our time. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

 **Chapter 12—Drops on the Floor**

 **Bella**

The past two weeks had been filled with tension, but less so in some instances. Everyone had felt Rosalie and Emmett's absence, which was noticeably difficult for them, and I hated that our decision had the potential to drive a wedge between Edward and a member of his family for all eternity.

Hadn't I been told over and over that change wasn't easy for vampires?

There was, however, a lot less tension when I visited Edward's house in other ways. I didn't have to worry about Rosalie's attempt to ignore me or indifference, even after our talk, where I thought we had made some form of peace between us. No more walking on eggshells about our future, at least in the sense of my transformation.

Yet, thoughts of the child we'd never have always hit me when silence descended again, and memories refused to be boxed up for another day. Finding it best to let it go, I chopped onions for chicken enchiladas for my dad, checking the time.

We had to get to Edward's house to pick out table settings for the wedding, while simultaneously studying for a Chem test, and finishing an English paper. The life of a busy high school senior.

The plan was for me to have dinner with Edward at his house, because Esme took advantage of any opportunity to use the kitchen. However, I was determined that my father had home cooked meals as much as possible prepared by me. Before I disappeared…

My hands stilled, tightening around the counter and knife. The more I thought about my future, the more I dreaded saying goodbye to my father. We may not have been what anyone would call affectionate, but since the decision was made to change me soon after our wedding, I couldn't help but hug him and kiss his scruffy cheek a bit more often.

I loved Edward, and I didn't regret the choice to spend eternity with him. I just hated how much I would hurt my father.

"Bella?" Edward's soft voice forced a smile to my lips and the slight loosening of my shoulders. He rarely missed moments such as that; always sensing my sadness despite having no access to my thoughts.

"I'm fine." It had become my automatic answer lately—one that, in its own way, still provided Edward with everything he needed to know. He knew I was thinking of my dad.

I didn't expect any reply; what could he possibly say? We made our decision, and though I knew he would aspire to give me whatever I wanted, some things were just not possible. The plan was set.

I looked over my shoulder and gave him a genuine smile. "I _will_ be fine, Edward."

He didn't look entirely convinced but nodded and repacked my backpack for our study session. "Alice says she'll be ready with the cake samples today, too. She advised that you don't eat even a snack."

I groaned, shaking my head. "Considering at least fifty percent of the guests don't eat food at _all_ , let alone cake, I find this ridiculous. We should just pick whatever is easier for all of you to ingest."

It was Edward's turn to groan. Though he'd mastered eating in front of humans, it was still unpleasant. "It doesn't matter. It'll all taste the same to me and my family."

I returned my attention to the cooking dinner but gasped as the knife sliced through my skin. "Shit," I whispered, my instinct to focus on the blood gave way to fear for Edward's bloodlust.

 _If he wanted to kill me, I would already be dead_ , I told myself.

My gaze snapped to his; his eyes a startling, yet familiar black. I grabbed the nearest kitchen towel to stem the flow of blood, and before I could move toward the sink, his arms surrounded me from behind.

His hands gently took hold of mine, leading me toward the faucet he'd already turned on. There was no mistaking the way his jaw was clenched shut, his eyes falling closed as the blood continued to flow.

"I must leave." His hands squeezed my hips for a fleeting moment, his apology following him in his wake. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I sighed and decided to assess my injuries. Of course, I somehow managed to cut both my forefinger of one hand and the thumb of the other. After less than a minute, my mouth started to water—a sign that I was either going to be ill or pass out.

"Edward," I choked out as the room spun and darkness fringed my vision. He had to help me before I injured myself even worse. Like hit my stupid head.

"I'm here. Alice called and said you'd need stitches." His words were stilted and terse but provided me some comfort.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

He nodded, and before I could protest about stitches, Edward wrapped me up in one of the throw blankets from my room. When had he gone upstairs?

"What are you doing?"

He shook his head. "You are in no condition to drive, so I need to take you."

I winced as the pain gave way to realization. "Can you handle being in a car with me and blood?" The drive to his house was long under normal circumstances, if I drove. While Edward, on the other hand, drove like a speed demon, yet even five minutes could prove too much.

"I'll roll down the windows." Once he locked up my house, he had me in the passenger seat of his car in seconds.

His suggestion explained the heavy blanket from my room; it was to keep me from getting too cold. It was the middle of winter in Washington, and the temperatures were only in the high 30s to 40s, at most.

The towel I grabbed before Edward's swift escape and subsequent return dripped with blood as he started the car. There was no doubt in my mind that I would need stitches.

Edward turned on the car's heater to full blast, but as he backed down the driveway, the windows began to roll down. "Try not to move." The edge in his voice was still evident, his breathing non-existent.

I simply nodded—to do anything else could possibly make me sick. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bella." It was clear that the anger in his tone was entirely directed on himself.

"I was too preoccupied with my thoughts. I shouldn't have chosen to make such a complicated dinner."

"Cooking is a much-needed distraction for you. Besides, I could have insisted on cutting them myself."

My head lolled to the side to look at him, the motion making me woozy. The disgust on his face made me giggle. "You _really_ detest onions, which is why you didn't offer."

He scowled, though not at me, but at himself in the reflection from the rearview mirror. His lips thinned, and he looked at me, his eyes softening. He tapped his mouth and then his throat.

Even with the open window, the overwhelming scent of my blood was getting to be too much for him. While he'd halted all semblance of breath, with every word he uttered, he could taste it in the air, in his open mouth. It was too much for him, and I understood.

I settled fully into the seat and closed my eyes, but Edward poked my arm gently. The stern look in his darkened gaze reminded me that I needed to stay awake. I didn't think my cuts were that severe, but the blood started to saturate the fabric of my jeans as well.

"Hurry."

I heard the engine rev minimally as Edward sped up, and I focused my eyes on the roof above me as I applied as much pressure to my wounds as I could manage; anything to distract me from the nausea stirring in my stomach. When we finally pulled into the Cullens' driveway, Carlisle was already outside waiting for us, lifting me from the car as he told Edward to go out for a quick hunt while he tended to me.

"I'm sorry. This was so stupid," I mumbled somewhat incoherently once he had settled me into a chair in his office, and then groaned at the familiar sight of a tray filled with instruments—something I had become accustomed to throughout my childhood.

"Nothing to apologize for, Bella. It could happen to anyone," Carlisle replied in his effortlessly calm tone as he set to work cleaning the area. "You will be fine, as will Edward."

My eyes met his meaningful gaze, and then my tears started to well. "We're not going to be able to do things as we planned, are we? If Edward can't handle a cut on my finger, even though this _is_ a pretty bad one, how is he going to manage changing me? He tried to stay there with me when it happened, but he couldn't do it. Just the drive was torture for him, I could tell. Was I naïve to think it could work?"

Carlisle sighed in thought while numbing my skin, and after a moment, shook his head. "No, Bella. We all have struggles from time to time, even me. Although you are justified in your concern. However, it is better to know now, while we have time to take precautionary measures."

My eyes fell to the side, avoiding the sight of the needle piercing my skin, even if I couldn't feel much. My heart ached at his words, though. "I want it to be him, Carlisle. It wouldn't be the same if…"

"I completely understand, more than you know."

That one statement oddly comforted me. If anyone could understand the torrent of emotions I was feeling at that moment, it would be him. While no one could deny the love and devotion between the other two mated couples in the house, there was something so uniquely special about the bond between Carlisle and Esme. They seemed to be connected on a level far beyond the realm of being mates, and the only difference between them and the others was that Carlisle had changed her himself. It was his venom that flowed through her veins; he literally became part of her.

I wanted that with Edward. However, the events of the evening proved discouraging.

The feelings of defeat must have been clearly displayed on my features, because he suddenly tapped my chin with his fingers to catch my attention. "Let's just finish here, and then we'll have a talk with Edward present, all right?"

I nodded and turned my eyes again to allow him to finish, and as soon as both wounded fingers were securely bandaged, I spotted Edward in the doorway of Carlisle's office. His jaw was tense, and his entire body was rigid, but it was the hopeless expression in his eyes as he seemed unable to meet mine that caused my heart to still in my chest.

It had been a while since I had seen that look. Even through the threat of the Volturi, he had never appeared quite as distraught as he was in that moment.

"Edward, please come in," Carlisle said calmly, and Edward took two hesitant steps forward, enough to close the door and lean back against it. "Take a seat."

Edward's eyes finally met mine, and I felt as if my own feelings of defeat were being reflected in his—thankfully—amber-hued eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"You've said that already," I replied in a gentle tone, holding out my less-injured right hand toward him. "We're both sorry, but that doesn't solve the problem."

Edward held my gaze for a moment before slowly making his way toward me and taking hold of my hand as he sat in the chair beside mine. "I know you want it to be me, but I can't. There's no way I can risk losing you in an attempt to have eternity with you. I just can't."

I felt the tears prickling at my eyes, but I blinked them back and looked to Carlisle again with a renewed resolve. "What 'precautionary measures' can you suggest?"

"Bella, if I can't handle a cut on your finger, how am I supposed to trust myself with your change?" Edward interrupted, the intensity returning to his gaze. "Blood straight from the source is far more potent."

"I understand Edward's concern, Bella. Once blood is exposed to the open air, it changes significantly. Color, taste, consistency, and scent. Smelling it on the air can definitely trigger thirst, but usually not the frenzy that would come from tasting human blood. And with the draw that yours has to Edward naturally, without any exposure whatsoever, I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned myself," Carlisle started in a level voice, as he sat across from us. "However, this is not without hope."

Edward's eyes snapped to Carlisle in shock. "Hope? How do the events of this evening conjure anything even _resembling_ hope?"

"As I have stated every time you have been confronted with a challenge where Bella is concerned, she's still here. Yes, the drive here was likely excruciating for you, and you needed to hunt immediately afterward, but Bella is still alive, and _only_ because you maintained the necessary restraint," Carlisle responded sternly, gazing back at Edward as if reprimanding him. "This is not impossible, Edward. Your past actions are proof of that. You have come a long way from the day you took off to Alaska after simply being in the same _room_ with Bella, to now managing a loving, intimate relationship with her."

I tried to restrain my embarrassment at the intimation of Carlisle's words and took a deep breath, not wanting to add my blush to the mix of Edward's struggles. "So, what do we do?"

Carlisle hesitated for a moment, but when Edward started shaking his head in obvious response to his thoughts, I grew wary. "We need to acclimate Edward to the taste of your blood."

"How? It's not like we can do test runs of him biting me," I started, but paused when I heard the crackling of wood and leather, and I glanced over to Edward. His jaw was even more tense, and there were holes in the shape of his fingertips on the chair arm. "Edward, we _have_ to talk about this."

He closed his eyes and his lips formed a thin line, but then leaned his head back against the chair. "I know. But what Carlisle is suggesting could give me a taste for human blood." His Adam's apple bobbed with a hard swallow, and he brought his eyes to Carlisle again. "This isn't some random, vile individual that means nothing to me. That has no appeal. This is _Bella_. You _know_ how hard I've fought to resist her blood."

"And that is precisely why this is the only way," Carlisle stated pointedly, causing Edward to drive his hands into his hair with a sigh. "Either that, or another option must be considered for Bella's change. We have to know that the scent and taste of her blood combined will not completely overwhelm you, or else we can't risk it."

I drew in a deep breath with my gaze on the floor at my feet. "'Another option' meaning that _you_ would be the one to change me instead?"

Carlisle nodded, and I heard the creak of the leather beneath Edward's fingers sound again. "Yes, that would be one alternative."

"No," Edward stated in a forceful tone, shaking his head vehemently.

I turned my eyes toward him and reached my hand over to cover his. The tendons relaxed minimally beneath my touch, but his shoulders and jaw were still rigid. "Edward, you _know_ how much I want it to be you, but if you're not sure you _can,_ is it worth the risk of losing everything? You _just_ said…"

"I _know_ what I just said, Bella. But you are _my_ mate, and the thought of anyone else, even Carlisle…" Edward paused, pinching his eyes shut and rotating his hand under mine to lace our fingers together. He held onto me as securely as he could without hurting me while he visibly calmed and centered himself. " _I_ will be the one to change you. Whatever it takes."


End file.
